Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: November 2007

  • (Birth) Control Freak

    As I understand it, the first version of the consent form for this clinical trial said “I will not have babies.” (Sign here.) The next version was more specific. The version after that says, “If you are a woman who can have children…you should use 2 forms of effective contraception simultaneously.” Ugh, I thought. I’m…

  • Mr. President

    Yesterday while I was at work I worked myself in way over my head. I was thrashing around in an ADL SCORM software package and none of it made sense. Years of experience with trashing has taught me what to do. Bypass the manual. Go visit the online support. I IM’ed the company. Dave: Dave…

  • Spirited Debates

    Back in 1988, I was in the kitchen, making dinner or some such nonsense (it was a long time ago) while I waited for Gary to come home. He was coming home to watch the debate with me. Dan Quayle had just compared himself to JFK. Of course, his opponent Lloyd Bentsen had just coolly…

  • Fun With Hebrew

    (Sings lustily from rooftop) Traaaaaaaaaaadition! TRADITION! (tradition!) The one Holiday tradition I have followed for fifteen years is to throw the Tea Party. Then, last year, the Croup descended on the land and the Tea was delayed. And now I’m just not feeling the Annual Tea this year. Usually the weather changes and I start…

  • Ellemon

    Well, the Pussy Pancreas decided to be all shy during the second CAT Scan, and disguise the cyst in some way so that results were inconclusive. (Hai! I R Toiying wid U like a mouse!) However, the trial continues apace, and I have the ophthalmologist and the MRI yet to do tomorrow. I have a…

  • Gina asks: “How is Tinkerbell?”

    When Gary ferried Mac and I to the in-laws for Thanksgiving dessert, I asked, “So, how is Tinkerbell behaving?” “She’s a biter,” Gary said, “So far she bit Mac and Moses. She hasn’t bit Willow yet.” “What’s Willow’s secret? Does she run? Show her belly?” “Mom says Tinkerbell doesn’t like boy dogs because she was,…

  • Meet Sarah

    Hi. I’m Sarah. I’ve been watching your husband naked in the shower. I inspected the bottle of Lush Rehab shampoo you bought when some blogger (probably Jammies) convinced you to spend an absurd amount of money on hair care, then I put this sticker on it. I have been fixing your husband with my playful…

  • I’ve Been Tagged!

    I”ve been tagged by the delightful Kathy, for Seven Random things. The challenge will be to find seven Random NEW things, unlike these things, or these. 1. I once puked because my brother was blowing the raw whites out of eggs in preparation for Easter. I’m thinking of this because of that commercial that shows…

  • Black Friday Fun

    Usually we don’t make it out of the house until four on Black Friday, but this year we got out early enough to have trouble getting a parking space. We spent a truly delightful hour as Gary refused to be an asshole over and over again. “No, even though we’ve got a straight shot, she’s…

  • Culture Shock

    Because I anticipate being out late today, I’m posting this bite of information: Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving a month ago. Americans among you, did you KNOW this? I just found this out. Well, last month. Plus, very few of them eat my Special Green Beans on Thanksgiving. (And I tasted – cheddar french fried onions are…