Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: November 2007

  • Bizzaro Turkey Day

    A few weeks ago I told Gary that I was concerned that this was going to be a particularly bad Thanksgiving for the S__________s, because it’s the first family gathering since the wedding/funeral in August. The holidays are stressful; then pair that with the in-laws preferred stress-buster: whirl on the person next to you and…

  • I-can-has-iodine?

    LOLPancreas Hai!I R in Ur AbdomensMaking U all worriedz. Oh NoesPancrees tests is hardDon’t knows till Caturday. (Ahahahahahah. CAT scan. I kill me.) (It occurs to me Mom now thinks she’s having a stroke.)

  • Body Worlds

    A week ago I was eating lunch at Pasta House with Miscellaneous Numbered Friends. (Nee the Heartless Cows.) Caroline picked up the advertisement for Body Worlds 3, an exhibition of anatomy at the Science Center. Caroline expressed her appreciation for the good taste the designers showed for “not showing the FLAYED BODY on the advertisement…

  • Dog Drama

    What do you do with a dog who is happily standing with his full weight in a pool of his own blood? No pain. “Yeah, I’m bleeding. You don’t have carpet. What’s the big deal? If you are Gary, you scream at your wife. Then at some point, you realize the dog needs medical attention.…

  • No Dove Chocolate? Seriously? At West County Mall?

    So, today I went to West County Mall to follow Sugared Harpy’s suggestion all attend the Chocolate Challenge. We got there at 3:30. We got our color-coded cups of five milk and five dark chocolates so we could vote on the best Saint Louis chocolate. I looked closely at the cup with the pink dot.…

  • Test-a-Thon

    At first I thought, “Enh, they don’t want the details of my day at the hospital being tested to see if I am now well enough to be in the clinical trial.” But then who do I see visiting via a link that Andrea posted to Amanda’s blog? Many people. And I feel no hesitancy…

  • Placebo Effect

    I’ve always rolled my eyes at the placebo effect. “Ha,” I sneered in That Tone I Have, “These suggestible people who believe vitamins and aromatherapy will benefit them. Please.” Well. Rub my nose in my stupidity. I’ve been without any beneficial MS medication for six months now and I would love me some placebo. Placebos…

  • Angie asks: “What are Gary’s most redeeming qualities, and what’s the nicest thing he’s ever done for you?”

    Well, Gary’s redeeming qualities are the same as his annoying qualities. He’s emotional: I never go a day without hearing Gary say “I love you.”He’s open: I never have to ask “Penny for your thoughts.”He’s unconcerned with money: We don’t fight about money, and I don’t think we would even if we had the same…

  • Regina Spektor: the Concert

    Monday I went to my second concert at The Pageant in four days. Soon, “The Pageant and Detrol bring you Natasha Bedingfield!” Woo! I had heard the acoustics at the Pageant are great. This is true. You can hear every syllable slurred by the drunks behind you. Who comes to a concert to talk? Evidently,…

  • Cowboy Mouth: the Concert

    Here’s how the Cowboy Mouth concert began: the drummer/lead singer/front man/Reverend / Fred came out and demanded some rhythm. “GIVE ME SOME RHYTHM” he insisted, so we all clapped. “GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES AND COME DOWN HERE ON THE DANCE FLOOR” he commanded. Friend #2/Hot Mom, as I said, is familiar with the…