Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: August 2007

  • In Keeping with Muslim Tradition

    In Keeping with Muslim Tradition

    Off to KC. Today is Day Two of the three-day Kashmiri wedding of my nephew. Last night was the painting of the hands with Henna. Henna Party! We were not invited, but that is fine. Today and tomorrow are the bride’s and groom’s receptions, respectively. Gary bought a lovely card: Yep, and it plays the…

  • What Not To Wear

    What Not To Wear

    Gary and I went clothes shopping Wednesday. Lately my trips out to get clothing have been disastrous. I’m on the cusp between normal and plus-size. If I shop in a normal store nothing fits, but Lane Bryant and Avenue don’t sell clothing with waists so I look like a box with legs. Legs and BOOBS…

  • Change of Life

    Ten years ago, on my thirty-fifth birthday, I was putting on my socks. And, let me warn anyone who is thirty-five: if you are putting on your socks, do not glance in the mirror. “Auuugh! I’m a huge fat cow!” Gary shrugged, “Gotta expect that.” “No! Why? Why do I have to expect that?” “Change…

  • My New Toy

    My New Toy

    Click to immensify my new toy: I love it. It’s sleek, shiny, fast, compact and and wireless, just like my new laptop.

  • This Story Makes Me Feel A Little Sheepish

    You may wonder why Gary expresses horror at the bawdy vulgar tomato I have become. I once was pure and innocent. In fact, in my letter to him detailing why I didn’t want to pony up my (technical) virginity, I gave as reason #7 that it was a core part of my personality. I was…

  • Confessional

    By all social standards, I have committed the unforgivable sin at work tonight. I worked late, got hungry, and ate other people’s food. From off their desks. Well, off one desk, and also from their file drawers. I could have stopped working, but I was crazed all day. The kind of crazed we programmers get…

  • Quake

    Little known facts about earthquakes: 1) Dogs suffer from diarrhea before an earthquake. (More on that here. ) 2) My dog has been having the most horrendous gas, gas so significant that I have commented on it, and I don’t like to discuss such vulgar topics. But people, this gas … it clears your sinuses.…

  • Miners

    When I was in 10th grade, my American Studies teacher showed us a movie, The Big Carnival (later renamed Ace In the Hole). It was an old movie (black and white! Kirk Douglas! Ew! Groady!) and Mr. Stevens was enchanted by the way Kirk struck a match with the typewriter carriage. (Oh…just look it up,…

  • Life at Forty-Five

    Forty-Five is shaping up to be a good year. Usually I feel awkward during birthday greetings and birthday attention. This year though (and you all can take credit for this) it was nice to hear “Happy Birthday;” it made me feel special. I think all the birthday comments toughened me up. Thanks! Today when people…

  • Friday

    Friday

    Forty-freaking FIVE, people!