I had a notable visit with a client today. I hesitate to reveal too much work information here on the blog, so let’s call them …. hmmm … the Ewish-jay Ederation-fay.
I walked into their lobby. According to the plaques, the lobby was donated by four people coincidentally all named Cohen. Something like Esther Cohen, Lenny Cohen, Ana Cohen, and Rebekah Cohen.
“Whoa,” I thought, “Mom was right. Cohen must be a Jewish name.” I mean, what are the odds all four contributors would be named Cohen?
Most of the meeting went well, but toward the end they warned me they might not be readily available, because there are a number of Jewish holidays in September.
Now, Sukkot
(soo-cawt) is one of the few Jewish holidays I know of. I went out on a limb and decided
September must be Sukkot month, because it’s a harvest/outdoor festival of some kind. (I only know of it because at
one point I thought it might have had a tenuous connection between Jewish camping and a Christmas Holiday song.)
Time to show I can walk the Jewish walk. I leaned back. I threw my hands out expressively. “Sukkot!” I exclaimed. However, since I was already out on a limb assuming Sukkot was in September, I decided to go with the most logical pronunciation. So what happened was: I kicked back, gestured grandly with my palms upward, and exclaimed, “Suck-it!”
For a very long split-second “Suck it!” lingered in the air. “Suck it!” the echo called back. Then, thank God, they realized what I was trying to say and their faces LIT UP.
“Why, yes, s0000000-cawwwt!” they said, “Yes!” They were so gracious and kind. And their faces said, “You go, Gentile Girl!” And then, “Aren’t you cute? How do you know about Sukkot?” And my face said, “Peeps, what don’t I know?” In my MIND. In reality, I said “Oh, sooooo-cawwwwwt.”
And I stopped myself from saying, “Do you know Cohen is a Jewish name?”
16 responses to “In Which I Insult Another Major Religion”
You really need to talk with me before you speak with my peeps.
So, who’s left, then? There have got to be some Sikhs you can piss off.
I’m agnostic.Piss me off. 😉
AHAHAHA. ‘Suck-it.’I learned of Sukkot (which I have memorized as ‘sue-coat’ so as to pronounce it correctly) from my former co-workers. They came into the office one day with boxes of cookies and treats for everyone. I was just happy to be on the receiving end so I asked what was the celebration, and one person said it was a festival and kind of like a “Jewish Halloween” (her words), hence the treats. They were delicious.
I’ve never heard of Sukkot. Do we need another girls’ night?
“Peeps, what don’t I know?” Uhh, how to pronounce Sukkot. Jk. This made me laugh. Lots. Thanks.
When I was a kid, Sukkot was pronounced “soo-kus”. Somewhere along the way, “t” replaced the “s” in a lot of words.Caroline, here you go: http://www.holidays.net/sukkot/story.htm
Okay, now you have me responding to one of your posts. Happy? You can officially knock your count down to 179 unknowns… I am Jewish (by birth at least) and have no idea how to pronounce Sukkot or what it is. So there.
Friend #3 – I know. I like your peeps. I don;t want them to turn on me.sgazzetti – On no, they make me sikh. HYC – I would, but I think you’re the one who told me about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering if there’s a dog. Catherine – Treats? I want to know why Friend #3 hasn’t brought in treats for us.Caroline – That sounds good. But only if we call it “Suck-it.” And eat these legendary treats Friend #3 has been keeping from us.Autumn – Well, finally, you’ve moved from laughing at my pain to laughing at my humiliation.Friend #3 – So, like the Great Vowel Shift, but with consonants? Do you do this routinely so non-peeps mispronounce things?personal venus – (Whee! Hi PV) Well, I’m …. Catholic, I suppose, but I have no idea how the Trinity is supposed to work. So were even.
I’m here for you Queen…whatever you need. 😛
Learn something every day. Once again I am reminded that I’ve led a very sheltered life.
I haven’t brought in any treats because it’s not Suck-it yet.
P.S. Regarding the Great Vowel Shift w/Consonants, we do this because there is profound mysticism in Judaism, and a lot of practical joking.
Autumn – Thanks! Suck-it!sue – Here’s whats weird – I knew Friend #3 for three years before I found out she’s Jewish.Friend #3 – I believe you. And I think we should have Stand Up and Suck-it Day.
I’m gonna have to ask my husband if we (the girls, not the family) can pitch a tent in the backyard to celebrate. We can practice the sharing of a meal with Marcia’s treats and alcohol. Then anyone who fails the breathalyzer can sleep out there.I can get behind this holiday.
Caroline – Suck-it and Flush Day! A holiday you can really get behind.