Dear Miss Manners:
I just attended an Islamic wedding. The bride was beautiful. Four days later, I attended an Islamic funeral, because the bride is dead. My problem is: I have this blog and I mentioned the wedding. Should I tell people my new niece-in-law is gone? Also, what should I say to people who ask, “was it a car accident?” I don’t want people to think this was a reflection on my nephew. I’ve read all your books. You never discussed this.
Sincerely,
Horrified By Unspeakable Tragedy in Saint Louis
Dear Horrified:
First, you should mention the funeral was for the new bride, because everyone assumes your mom is dead. Second, technically, you went to an Islamic wake, because the burial happened about 2 hours after you left work to drive to Kansas City, as is their custom. As you know, the problem with saying it wasn’t a car accident is that people will try to make sense out of the situation. These things only make sense to the person who is troubled.
Answer all questions with “I don’t know, it just doesn’t make any sense.”
21 responses to “Miss Manners Weighs In”
*Hugs*….
I am so very sorry. My condolences.
I’m so sorry. My thoughts have been with you and your family all week and will continue to be.
Oh, my. I am so very sorry. My sincere condolences to you and your family at this time.
I’m so sorry. “It just doesn’t make any sense.”It doesn’t. My thoughts go out to you.
Sorry, my thoughts are with you.
Oh my God.
Oh my gosh. There are no words. Sweet of you to think of your fan club, but no shit that your priorities are elsewhere.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. ~Mark TwainThere are no words that bring comfort. It’s all just tragic and very sad. I’m so sorry.
I’m very sorry. *hugs*
Everyone – Thank you all for the virtual hugs *pats on back to signal end of hug.* It is just awful.
I just said holy fucking shit to my computer. Then I thought, wait, should I tell her that? it is appropriate? But it doesn’t matter. Its an expression of my horror, and I’m so sorry.
Oh NO! When you took down the wedding blog I assumed it was because the family objected! I’m so sorry to hear this.
Oh…I’m stunned. Words just won’t come. I’m so sorry.
i am so sorry for the loss to you and your extended family. it is truly heartbreaking to hear of. my deepest condolences. ((hug))
It’s too horrible to make any sense. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Excellent Miss Manners question, Gentle Reader.There is no right way to handle it. The best you can do is try.
Jenny “� Yep, that’s pretty appropriate if you ask me. I came as close to fainting as I ever have in my life when I heard.Angie “� I know. No, it seemed all we could do at the time. We’re just now beginning to look at the wedding photos again.Sue “� I know. Thank you.Snowy – Thanks. I’ve been hanging on Gary for almost a week now.Vaguely Urban – It is awful. Poor girl.Caroline – Well, I am re-directing my sorrow into anger at my in-laws. I’m sure I’ll get over that.
Oh, how awful. I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I’ve been out of town and today is the first chance I’ve had to catch up on blogs. I’m stunned and saddened. Really. I’m teary-eyed and I didn’t even know this beautiful woman. Please accept my sympathy.
Christy and KC – I have to say, it’s brought me closer to Gary. Especially since he’s been so supportive and understanding about depression. He’s made me proud, correcting his family when they start to blame her. He’s preached the Gospel of Seratonin to them.