Counting Crows
Now that this Daughtry American Idol person is opening for Counting Crows in East Mordor, there has been great demand for my tickets, so I have sent some nice young teacher to her death in my place.
Counting Pigs
They say that if you marry a woman, first look at her mother.
Gary should have looked at his father when he married me, because guess what my father-in-law Ken’s favorite food is.
Snoots. You know it. Pickled snoots in sauerkraut. Wilma won’t make it for him any more. My God, it would just kill her if I made him some snoots. Ken would praise my snoots, Wilma would attack, snoots would be flying everywhere.
Counting Sheep
Since I have been expelled from the marriage bed I have had long, wonderful uninterrupted dreamfests. (My dreams have become quite complex and specific, after which one walks about the office the rest of the day wondering “Did Hot Mom and Friend #3 say they were planning a trip to Six Flags after work, or did I dream that?”) I wake up at 5, refreshed. Then, sadly, I go back to sleep for another two hours and wake up exhausted.
Counting Pounds
Hah! I’ve lost three pounds since stopping the Betaseron! Hahahaahahaha! HAH! (Consult with your physician before stopping Betaseron. Not a recommended weight-loss program.)
Can’t Count on Jesus, that Bastard
Damn. Jesus is retiring. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
9 responses to “Counting (an Update)”
Congrats on ditching the Counting Crows tickets. You know what they say: The life you save may be your own. East Mordor is a bad place if you’re not a Hobbit.Regarding my main ninja, Jesu: I know! I was very saddened to see Jesus “Blog-tiring”. He likes the cut of my jib, you know. *beams*
Friend #3 – Seriously, we need to keep track of Jesus even if he retires. Do you think we could find him if we Google him? “Jesus H. Christ Karen lamb P.M.F.”
Re: Your comment in my blog.Why are you displeased? 🙂
After watching the video I assumed the big announcement was that you are leaving Saint Louis in August and returning to Pasadena. You need to stay in St. L. and shake things up here.
That is the big announcement 🙂 But I was only here temporarily any way.I really don’t want to shake things up here.. maybe I can inspire someone else to, but I love Pasadena and am more in touch with the issues there than the issues here.Besides, the type of campaign I run and stuff I do is one of those “only in California” type things.
P.S. How did you add those cool “What you’re listening to” links? I want that for my blog. E-mail me.
omg u r so gay
Carrie – U R 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol