I am cooking up a storm for the tea. Since it’s a masquerade tea, all the foods are foods in disguise. One of the entrees is mock turtle soup. This calls for a variety of things my sister-in-law Karen will not eat, including hard-boiled eggs and sherry vinegar. I sent Gary out to the grocery to get the ingredients.
Gary phone call #1: “There are no hard-boiled eggs left!”
Me: “I can boil an egg. Just get about six eggs.”
Gary phone call #2: “Are you sure you don’t want hard-boiled eggs?”
Me: “Yes.”
Gary: “Because there aren’t any here at Schnuck’s. But I can go to Dierbergs.”
Me: “No. Just get normal eggs.”
Gary phone call #3: “I’m at Dierbergs! I found some hard-boiled eggs. But they’re already colored. Is that okay?”
Me: “They are going in SOUP. Why didn’t you get a dozen plain eggs?”
Gary: “There are no eggs left except for big containers of thirty-two eggs. I had to fight an old lady for these.” (I had completely forgotten it was almost Easter.)
Gary phone call #4: (Sounds of Gary whistling along with the very loud CD player. This is a stealth call from Gary’s pants.)
Me: “GARY! GARY! YOUR PHONE! TURN OFF YOUR PHONE!”
Gary: (whistling)
Gary arrived with a dozen colorful hard-boiled eggs, and cooking sherry.
“Gary, this is cooking sherry.”
“It was in the vinegar aisle! It must be vinegar!”
(I taste it.) “It’s better than our sherry. It’s okay. We’ve got rice vinegar and balsamic vinegar. I’ll just use that.”
Gary looks up sherry vinegar on the Internet. He returns with his coat on.
“It the most expensive vinegar there is! It’s more expensive than balsamic vinegar! I’ll be back!”
Gary the hunter. Out to find and catch the rare and elusive sherry vinegar.
5 responses to “Gary the Hunter”
Ahahahahaha. I really would have liked to have seen Gary wrestle the eggs away from the old lady.Also, my new Gourmet has some masquerade food on the cover. The dish looks like a soft-boiled egg with two toast slices, but the egg is actually a dessert: it’s a lemon curd (the yolk) on some custard (the white) served in an egg with a shell that you have C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y cracked the top off of so that you can sterilize the rest of it and serve it as is. The toast is an anise cake baked slightly, sliced, and then baked all the way through.Go look at the picture; I’m sure I’m not doing their cover any favors. 🙂
Stealth calls are always funny. My husband doesn’t sing along or whistle, but there’s always a good reggae groove going on in the background. When I get stealth calls from my son, he and his friends are always singing showtunes. I don’t like reggae or showtunes.
Catherine: Well, now I want to make this. But it will need to be for another tea; I can’t sterelize that many eggs before Saturday at 4:30.KC: Yeah, funny the first 400 times. It is nice to hear someone belting out a showtune when they think no one else can hear!
We call it “Butt Dialing”
Sherry – Snort. And now we must call it butt dialing too, simply because Gary feels “Butt” is coarse and vulgar. Ahahahaha!