Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: August 2006

  • Gary’s Theory

    Here is Gary’s theory: John Mark Karr: expatriateLee Harvey Oswald: expatriate John Mark Karr: three part nameLee Harvey Oswald: three part name John Mark Karr: high pantsed weaselLee Harvey Oswald: high pantsed weasel Gary’s theory is that FOX, CNN et al have noticed this parallel and that’s why they’ve been following the plane flight from…

  • My Dog Has Fleas

    So last week I pulled a flea off of Mac. And you know, for every flea you see there are ten fleas you don’t see. It’s just like mice (and we counted the mouse corpses and this ratio is not approximate). Of course, I doused Mac with the prescription flea stuff. Fleas dead in twelve…

  • In Which We Are A Muse

    My recent review of old letters sent me to Google to find old boyfriends. I’ve done this before without result. Now the Internet is littered with the lovers I have left in my wake. I only had to search about half an hour to find the blog of Michael D____, former college boyfriend, at blogs.salon.com/biographicalNotesz.…

  • Letters, I Save Letters

    Letters, I Save Letters

    I think I was in sixth grade when the book “How to Eat Fried Worms” by Thomas Rockwell came out. Each of us had to write the author and say how much we liked the book. I wrote about how I had been giggling about his book in Math class with Jane Hoffman, and she…

  • In Which My Portrait is Turned to the Wall

    I was cleaning out my home files a few weeks ago and found my paternal grandmother’s Last Will and Testament, which reads in part: “I remember my granddaughter, Ellen L______, but I make no provision for her to receive anything under this will.” Given that my brother and half-siblings each got a mere two thousand…

  • Hoverers

    In the bathroom stall next to me I heard a mother admonishing her child, “Don’t touch that. Stop! Don’t touch anything. No!” She sounded as panicky, as if the fixtures were going to brand her child’s bottom. I thought “That child is going to grow up to be a hoverer.” You know, one of those…

  • Shut Up, Pretty Radio Shack Boy.

    You know how you get when you are at Radio Shack and some bright witty twenty-year salesboy is chatting you up? You know it’s his job, but it’s been so long since you spoke with a bright yet charmingly scruffy boy. You didn’t when you were in college, did you, because you were too shy…

  • Not Quite Like Brian Wilson Did

    I’ve been back at the guitar now that my thumb began to heal (push through the pain, must stay strong) and last night I practiced all 14 songs in my “set list” twice. I was patting myself on the back for making it through “Brian Wilson” with nary a mistake, not even the A7 I…

  • Too Late

    Aha – I finally discovered the cranny of Typepad where comment listing is hidden. Too late, of course, to document that my blog was commented on by God

  • It’s the Blog Version of a Clip Show

    My life, in a nutshell: Today, we were driving and Gary pointed out how dirty the cup holder on the Mini Cooper is. I said, “It’s all the Starbucks sloshing around when we go over bumps.” He pondered, “Wouldn’t it be cool if there was some device we could hang from the rear-view mirror and…