It is the miraculous vacation!
Day 1 / Miracle 1: I put my debit card and driver’s license in my jeans pocket before we started pedaling the paddleboats in Forest Park. After an hour, I got out of the paddleboat with no debit card and driver’s license. A paddleboat isn’t very big so after a short search I gave up. We were almost back at the car and I was still patting myself down and noticed an odd protrusion under my belt. I had pedaled the debit card out of my pocket, under my shirt (which was not tucked in but still finished off with a cunning belt to hide my muffin top) and it had embossed itself into the hot sweaty flesh under my belt. I checked my armpits but the driver’s license was not to be found.
Day 2 / Miracle 2: Arzaana-fay and I were out shopping and she found purses for $2.00, so she bought three. (Oh, and many tops in blindingly glorious jewel tones.) Four hours in I was sitting down because I wore the wrong shoes. I asked where the bag with the purses was. Horror. No idea. Another loss. Happily, as we retraced our steps the woman who had helped us at Earth Wind and Bead saw us come in and lifted the bag and waved. Another miraculous recovery.
Day 3 / Miracle 3: Arzaana-fay couldn’t find her mother’s credit card, given to her for emergencies. Evidently my debit card had talked with Sandy’s credit card and told it the joys to be found outside of the wallet. We looked everywhere except for the bag holding my birthday presents. Finally I dove in and it was hiding there. Oh, course, I presented it to Arzaana-fay attached to my ribs.
On Day 2 we also saw the Lady In The Water. Our reviews ranged from “Enh – okay” to “Waste of time” to “Horrendous! Just – Gaaaaaah!”. (That was Gary.) They lost me at the word “Narf.”
On Day 3 we took what is now evidently our annual pilgrimage to the parking lot at Six Flags when we decide it is bad weather, then we leave. The we go to Lone Elk Park, as tradition dictates, and we saw bison family: Dad, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, and three babies. We took two trips around the park and on the first lap we played “Buffalo Soldiers” to the bison and, I swear to you, they began bobbing their heads in time to Bob Marley. On the second lap the Momma Bison urinated directly on her baby bison. Kind of weird.
Oh, and Mom is still here, hanging in there, and we are all kind of pissed that Ameren Electric has exiled her now for over a week. Off with their heads.
3 responses to “Vacation Update”
“bag with my birthday presents in it” — was it your birthday during the madcap miracle vay-cay?
Miracles never cease! Also, “narf”? Really? M. Night Shyamalan is an idiot.
Nope – there is the Birthday, and the Birthday Observed by the S______s, which can be as much as 40 days away from the Birthday.