Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Author: Ellen S______

  • TWIL: How to make tea

    I think anyone who drinks tea knows the English have scorn for the way Americans make tea. “BOILING,” they grumble. “The water must be BOILING!” And I do boil the water. Up until this week I have dutifully used a pot and boiled the water to a rolling boil which I pour directly over the…

  • Messiah 2025: Traditions

    As is tradition, they did dress up Powell hall, and the new addition as well. I wondered which decorations had been in storage the past two years and which wre new. I don’t remember there being a giant nutcracker by the grand staircase positioned just so for a photo op. In fact, I don’t remember…

  • Review: [SPOILERS] Death by Lightning

    I’ve been enjoying the Netflix series Death by Lightning. It’s about [SPOILER] the assassination of President Garfield [/SPOILER]. I’ve enjoyed it so much that I feel the need to analyze why. Somehow the writers manage to ratchet up the tension even though you know the outcome. I don’t know how they do it. The committee…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 12/11/2025

    This week Tulips 2025 went from this: … to this.

  • Mailbox misunderstanding

    The postman drove too close to our mailbox. I was listening and heard the truck accelerate, then a shriek of metal, a hollow crash, then silence, then the doorbell. There he was on the doorstep with the mailbox and bracket in his arms. The pole was still upright at the curb. The mailbox had a…

  • Fanning sisters fashion

    I spent a day in another of these tops with the built-in bra, and needed an honest opinion of the state of my bosom. Gary, who can always be counted on for an honest opinion, said, “They are sitting a bit lower than usual. But that’s fine. The Dakota sisters say women are wearing their…

  • Antiquated

    We are in the twenty-first century, and this box in the women’s toilet stall is precisely the same as it ever was. Seriously. Same as the sixties and seventies.

  • TWIL: My father was not quite right about the calendar

    When I was a sophomore in high school, I took Latin, because I was insufferably affected, and the first lesson was counting one to ten. ūnus (1), duo (2), trēs (3), quattuor (4), quīnque (5), sex* (6), septem (7), octō (8), novem (9), decem (10) *Nothing better than shouting “sex” for six as you recite…

  • More zoo

    The zoo had fires, low to the ground so toddlers could make Smores. Crazy. Terrifying. I don’t understand how both toddlers and adults are not afraid of fire. I can’t even use paper matches. Think about it. Paper matches. The only thing between your finger and fire is paper. Last year the mac and cheese…

  • At the zoo

    I have the Christmas party at the zoo down to a science now. Get there at five fifteen, park at the exit, spend an hour wandering the zoo in the dark, eat, nod at the one or two people you recognize, and then bail. This penguin knows what I’m saying.