Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: January 2023

  • Exchange At the Dentist

    Me: NAAAAW REEE. (Followed by burbling water out of throat like a human water fountain that splashes on the dental dam that almost completely covers my mouth.) NAAAAW REEE. Dentist and assistant stop, and sit me up, loosen everything, and express concern. Me: Can’t breathe. (Gurgles.) Assistant: You can’t breathe through your nose? Well no,…

  • Insanity

    Has anyone quoted Einstein to you, claiming he said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and expecting different results?” I doubt that Snopes is down with this, and other sources refute it. (Quote Investigator gives credit to Narcotics Anonymous). I am usually so busy taking credit away from Einstein that I’ve…

  • Mustang Gary

    Oh my gaaawwwd the car search. This has been worse than the search for the Fit. We test drove Hummers and Zs and every car made before his research led us to the Fit. We can’t test drive these electric cars, because You Kids Today like to order your cars from Amazon or something, plus…

  • Another Variant Are You Kidding Me

    I like how they give the Covid variants letters — BA, BQ — because it makes me believe that sure, we’re at BQ now, but someday we’ll hit ZZ and it will be over. It looks like there’s a new one and we have jumped to XB! Wooo! Big leap forward. It’s sneaky: you feel…

  • New Hair

    Well, after the holiday break I transitioned from the short sculpted Chimera … … to the lighter, longer, wavy-er, wackier Senior. The color difference is not noticeable on Zoom, and oddly, everyone noticed I was wearing a new headband. I don’t know what it is about the headband that gives me comfort. For some reason…

  • Rewriting the Novel: Reading Aloud

    I thought the book was in pretty good shape, then I took the step to read it out loud to check the flow. My god, it’s incomorehensible. I taped myself reading it with the plan that if I heard something wrong I would interrupt myself, say the word “wrong,” comment, then bookend my comment with…

  • Thursday Paint Progress: 1/5

    This week the sea went from this: … to this: Mountains: better, Clouds: worse.

  • Rewriting the Novel: Treasure of the Sierra Madre

    I was watching The Treasure of the Sierra Madre and I noticed some similaities to the novel I’ve been working on. There is an oil derrick. This similarity doesn’t rrouble me. Mine is set in an oil town and has more right to oil derricks than a movie set in the Sierra Madre. The oil…

  • Red

    I don’t know what’s changed, but for the last month I’ve looked at myself on Zoom calls and my face is absurdly red. In the photo below the arrows on the right point to significant red blotches blooming in the bright pink field of my face. The arrow on the left points toward the horrifying…

  • Retrospective

    In years past I have eaten up every year-end retrospective. This year I made myself add the Time Year in Review to the shopping list, and I set the DVR to the CNN Best and Worst. (Let slip a tear for the TiVo, which woukd have recordrd every other retrospective for me without asking.) I’m…