Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: April 2021

  • Safety Feature

    I’m still learning all the things the new Mini can do. For one thing, evidently if the weather’s cold, I can stay in bed, get on my iPhone, and start it up and heat it while I stay in bed. I was picturing that, and of course I was concerned because, my God, a fatal…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 4/29

    This week the salt shakers went from this: …to this: Well, that rear’s too dark, but she’s taking shape. The town went from this: … to this: That’s it, I am done. This was the goal: Clearly not enough brown, but that’s okay. It’s acceptable.

  • New Technology

    This happens to us every 16 years or so: we go from the old generation of a vehicle to the new one and experience the wonder of what’s happened to vehicles recently. I wanted to turn on the lights because it was overcast, and I couldn’t, but then when I got home the lights were…

  • Mute

    I was really late to a Zoom meeting with, oh, 100 people. You’d think no one would notice, especially my department leader. Nope. He noticed because he’d been waiting half an hour for me to join so he could ask me questions on the chat about the status of another project I’m on. The chat…

  • Unworthy Vessel: In Which Canada Disappoints

    I reached in a box of soda and extracted this entirely empty yet still sealed can of ginger ale. Zero sugar? Zero soda, more like. The odd thing was, while the sealed top was distorted, I submerged it in water and no air bubbles came out. No leak or opening. Jeremiah 51:34 ‘Nebuchadnezzar the king…

  • Wee, sleeket, cowran, very wet and tim’rous beastie

    I don’t know how this happened. It rained gently last night, but no torrential gully-washer that might sweep up a wee beastie. Perhaps he lost his footing o’n the roof in the rain. Or maybe it was just despair. If you or a mouse you care about is considering suicide, call a medical hotline. I’m…

  • It Went as Expected

    The new all-electric Minis: are four inches bigger than the old ones. (We went without our trade-in, and they suggested we donate it to a good cause instead.) are an odd color of blue/black (they still make red, but of course Gary couldn’t wait) look non-plussed now drive exactly like the Moon cars at Six…

  • I Might Leave the House

    Today, we might go test an electric Mini Cooper. Or – Gary might test a Mini Cooper; I don’t relish the thought of being in a Mini with a salesperson who probably snacks on raw bats. No social distancing in a car that is itself barely six feet long. The dealership promises they are clean,…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 4/22

    Oh, it was the worst day of painting ever. The salt shakers went from this: … to this: I don’t know what I’m doing. Trying to get the values? No idea at all. The town went from this: Almost done, right? In fact, I thought I’d finish it. And then I dragged the sleeve of…

  • I Continue to Shrink

    Gary noticed it last week. “What shoes are you wearing? You’re short now.” Confirmed at the doctor’s office: I’m down another half inch. After years of 5 foot 8, I went to 5 7 a few years ago and now I’m 5 feet 6.5 inches. I also have a bone density test coming up now.…