Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: April 2020

  • Covid Complication

    Leaving the house and putting on shoes made me consider my appearance for the first time in forty days. While I was out I realized I hadn’t put in earrings in … forty days. “Oh no,” I thought, “How long does it take for my ears to close up? Are my ears closed up?” Also,…

  • Covid Cold: In Which I Leave the House for the First Time in 40 Days

    Somehow, with all the hand-washing and not touching his face, Gary has still caught a cold. “I have a cold!” Gary pouted. “And I have no Dr. Pepper.” “Poor sweet baby,” I said, obediently. “I’m sick.” “Poor sweet baby?” I said, confused. “You have to go out to the grocery store and get me Dr.…

  • Covid Chinese Toilet Paper

    Early on in the pandemic, Gary purchased some toilet paper on Amazon. It took a long time to get here from China. People have very small bottoms in China. On the left: Wee Chinese Toilet Paper. On the right: Mega rolls of Cottonelle. (Not Charmin, though, which was the ultimate. Ah! The days of luxury.…

  • Covid Cleanup

    It was 90 degrees last week, and I’m still sleeping in my winter pajamas. I pulled down my seasonal clothing storage box, intending to swap my winter sweaters for the linen pants, when I realized that it was futile. Sure, I’ll wear my summer pajamas, but linen pants? Do I really think I’ll be leaving…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 4/16 (free of Covid)

    Last week the Mexican sinkhole/cenote looked like this: … and now it looks like this: The lemons went from this .. … to this finished version. I really don’t like my version. I got the blue colors wrong. Here is what it’s supposed to look like: See how the lemons are all loose and chunky?…

  • Covid Communications

    The young people at work continue to communicate with me in their youthful way. There was one five-minute period recently during which they Skyped me, emailed me, and texted me, and while I was reading their texts the landline phone rang. (The landline phone was the hospital telling me that my brother was out of…

  • Covid Creatures

    Pregnant raccoons show up in the daytime this time of year, looking for food, eating for five. I was up at dawn and noticed what Gary calls a pregnant DayCoon wandering in the back yard. First, it was odd that she was wandering: usually the DayCoons eat desperately and then run away. She was tooling…

  • Covid Carbs

    Early in the pandemic, on the day I tallied up all our available food, I sent Gary out for yeast packets. He came back with this Huge Bottle O’ Yeast: It stayed on the shelf. The only thing I did with it was mail some in an envelope to Friend Anne, who was making sourdough…

  • Covid Culture

    They came for the baseball season, and I didn’t speak out when the baseball season was cancelled, because of the Covid. Then they came for the hockey season, and I did not speak out, because I was not a hockey fan. But then they came for my opera — and there was no one left…

  • Covid Comforts

    [Editor’s note – I have tried to write posts that are not about the global pandemic. I can’t even try any more. The Covid has crept into every aspect of life.] Every once in a while a friend will post a covid-related alcohol meme on Facebook and I think, “I have alcohol, right here, in…