Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: August 2013

  • To My surprise I find I know all of Sammy Hagars songs

  • Weather.com knows

  • Sudden thunderstorm at Sammy Hagar concert in Maryland heights

  • Oh! Vivid Menopause Dreams? No One Told Me About That.

    No estrogen for a week and I am imagining every menopausal symptom and adding some undocumented ones. Are strange dreams a symptom of the ‘Pause? In the last few days I have had both the best dream and the worst dream I’ve ever had. The Best Dream Paul McCartney was using The Bookmobile as his…

  • Wedding Gifts

    Earlier this month I used a tension rod to fix a broken cabinet, and if you were wondering what was trapped in my Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, it was a pizza pan wedding gift. After I rescued it, I started wondering what other wedding gifts I still have 28 years later. Pizza pan, painted metal,…

  • Juicy Piggies

    Two years ago the USDA lowered pork cooking temperatures to 145, 15 degrees lower than I’ve ever seen, and NO ONE TOLD ME. Bring on the trichinosis: I like juicy pork. Now that I know, I just made the best pork roast of all time. It wasn’t a bit pink, even at 145, and I’ve…

  • Like the Universe, I Am Becoming Less Dense

    In addition to my user-friendly “Your breasts are normal” mammogram letter, I also saw the cold doctor-to-doctor mammogram report. “The present examination has been compared to prior imaging studies performed at Barnes Jewish Hospital on 06/18/2009, 10/09/2006 and 09/28/2006. The breasts are almost entirely fat.” Harsh! “Doctor, I need a consult. Have you ever seen…

  • I’ve Got the Wonky Lung

    Let’s get this straight. I do NOT have shortness of breath. I can breathe, sustain life, I’m all pink, I have no complaints about that. What I HAVE is a constant need to yawn without the capacity to yawn successfully. I don’t know what this is called. Yawnus Interruptus? It happened ten years ago right…

  • Star Wars

    We just watched The People vs George Lucas, a delightful documentary about the hatred George Lucas stirred up by a) revising the original Star Wars and b) making the prequels be inferior to Episodes 3-6. Most important, it taught me why people have t-shirts that say “Han Shot First.” I had no idea Han was…

  • Bullets on a Saturday

    Here’s an update on Gary’s retirement. He’s still sleeping 12 hours a day. He’s moving his bowels for an hour each day, which I would find hard to believe, only there’s auditory evidence. In addition, he tries to do one productive thing each day, which means he’s gotten all the tornado damage cleaned up. The…