Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: January 2013

  • Gary’s Turn Under the Scope

    Monday, I was in buidling B at Missouri Baptist when a woman in the hall turned to me and asked, “Do you know how to get to the fifth floor of building B?” “I don’t think there is a fifth floor.” “They told me to go to Building B, Suite 550. The Endoscopy Suite.” “Ohh!…

  • Fifty at Fifty

    1995-2010: Over 15 years of MS, I’ve accumulated 50 “silent” lesions: ones that didn’t result in a flare-up. That’s 3.33 lesions a year. Only two of the 50 were noisy enough to break though my oblivion, so I’ve only been in the hospital twice. That’s one active lesion every 7.5 years. That is well over…

  • All the Men In My Life Have Synchronized Cycles

    My brother Dave has had the Whooping Cough for a week. We thought it was his yearly bronchitis because it is the same high-pitched keening hideous cough. (People have accused him of augmenting his cough for pity, that’s how dreadful it is.) But no bronchitis: whooping cough. In addition to the cough, he has blood…

  • Slither Gets Two Thumbs Up From Gary

    After I spent four hours sorting and cleaning and consorting with mouse crap, I arose from the basement to find Gary watching Slither. He roared over the sounds of non-stop screaming, “Sit down and watch this movie with me! It’s a great movie!” It was then I decided to donate his weight set to Goodwill.…

  • Windy City Dreamin’ On Such a Winter’s Day

    A Friend is celebrating a birthday next month, and because her favorite band is playing in Chicago she’s celebrating up there. And she’s invited her friends to join her, though lo they are legion and scattered to the far corners of the earth. You realize this is a chance to travel while leaving the dog…

  • And They Say I Don’t Have a Filter

    Soon four of us will be desk-sharing at work: me and one of three other guys. I wanted to express in an email that there was plenty of room in my cube for anyone who wanted to move in. I really don’t hang on to paper at work. I like to travel light at my…

  • Them’s Some Fancy Sprouts

    One thing I ordered from the gourmet store was guanciale, a fancy italian bacon cured pork jowl. I have read of its unique taste and how you can only get it at the best shops. Yum! The Emporer’s New Pork Jowl! That jowl has my name all over it. Guanciale is best known as the…

  • I Say Yes, Yes We Are

    Friday night: I cleared out everything in one third of the basement, and Gary put together one half of one set of shelves. Though I tried to help, I couldn’t wrestle the metal beams together the way he did. Saturday: We both hurt a good deal. We agreed we should take three months cleaning up…

  • Even My Subconscious Knows This Blog Is Boring

    Last night I dreamed I was contracting in a military lab. A female scientist said I needed to remove my blouse for safety. After doing so I turned to face the scientist and I felt the cold air on my boobs just as she said, “Why did you take off your bra too?” And in…

  • Ice Ice Baby

    Check out this series of glass igloos. It’s for viewing the Northern Lights in Finland: Each igloo has thermal glass outside, and I suppose that means it doesn’t fog up between the heated room and the subzero air outside. Inside there’s a bed and a bathroom. On the downside, during the five day excursion you…