Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: November 2012

  • Deer Dong! Deer Dong!

    Here we are assembling the illuminated robot reindeer. He wanted me to retake the photo because in the FIRST one he had a pervy look on his face.

  • Ornament

    Gary and I buy each other an ornament to signify the past year. So, what symbolizes this year? or maybe oh wait … …I found it A frozen cheetah! We were once always on the go, now we are immobile, hanging in space.

  • Visual Motivational Aids

    Has anyone had a colonoscopy recently? I had one in my mid-thirties, and now that I am fifty I get to have a regularly scheduled colonoscopy in December. I got the materials in the mail, and they include a handy visual aid of what the inside of your colon looks like if your preparation was…

  • Turkey Day

    Thanksgiving at the S______. ALL the S______s were there, [MASSIVELY REDACTED] I felt old after I went through the iPad application of the night: Aging Booth. Look at me in 35 years! I didn’t align my face correctly in the app: that’s why I appear to have had a stroke. [ALSO REDACTED!]

  • New Coat

    I bought a new coat today. Eggplant, lined wool, narrow shoulders, wide hem, and a fur-lined hood. How much do I love it? Enough to ignore the fur-lined hood. It was half price, plus that fox should die for all the chickens he probably killed. Save the chickens! I am pro-chicken. Plus he was an…

  • Pie

    Turkey Day? No. At the In-Laws it’s Pie Day, with a side of turkey. Pictured, from top My pecan pieBackup pumpkin ABackup pumpkin BMy butternut squash pieBackup cherry pieBackup pecan pieArzanna-fay’s pumpkin pieMy apple pieArzanna-fay’s cherry pie (Karen brought those backup pies, because who knows, we might not have enough pie. Not pictured, the two…

  • Percent

    I keep having this conversation with co-workers. Coworker: “All I know is there are too many entitled people out there. I don’t want somebody with a cell phone taking my hard earned money to buy themselves video games and then buy steak with food stamps paid for with my taxes.” Then inevitably, they go on.…

  • I Am the Valedictorian of My Graduating Class

    Today was my last day of Physical Therapy. Woooooo! Everybody wave your arms in the air! Bump your left ear with your left arm! You couldn’t do that ten weeks ago! Wooooo! The therapist says he’d give me a B plus or an A minus. I said I’ve never gotten anything above a C in…

  • Results of Dropping the Anti-Depressants Down Another Notch

    Spending I looked at my closet. Outrageous number of clothes. I really only have three favorite work outfits and one favorite weekend outfit. I purged my closet. Now I’m down to the three and the one and then the requisite funeral attire. Rocking! Streamlined! I can travel on my belly. Then I bought new clothes.…

  • Pro Tip

    Is your Mom dead? Don’t watch Brave. You are welcome.