Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: September 2012

  • StubHub, or Burying the Lead

    I love StubHub. Gary says it’s unethical. StubHub is a legal scalping site. (It would seem that, technically, scalping is only illegal when it happens right outside a theater). Gary is terrified that I’m becoming a Republican since I work for TeddyJ, now this Stubhub controversy makes me defend the free market and supply and…

  • Sleepwalk With Me Movie (Prologue)

    Rachel from The Cruise and I planned to meet up in front of the Tivoli at 7:15 to watch the 7:30 showing of Sleepwalk With Me, then go get dinner. You’ll remember Rachel From the Cruise as the person who made me look so good at the BNL concert last summer. If I have a…

  • Shoulder

    Have I mentioned my shoulder hurts? Well, it does. I decided that it might be tendonitis and that the cure would be to ignore it. Soooo …. that was six months ago. It got worse, so I headed to see the GP this week. He pushed my arm all about and said, “You have a…

  • Plague

    We were discussing the bubonic plague at work, as you do, especially when some Colorado girl comes down with the Black Death. Marcia: “The plague? Really? How could they tell?” Me: “The buboas.” Marcia: “Bubons.” Me: “Buboas.” Marcia: “Bubons.” Me: (in desperation) “BuBOAS. She’s a girl.” (So of course you would use the feminine.) Marcia:…

  • The First Decent Weather Since Spring, Part 3: Saturday 5:00 – 7:00

    After the Zoo, we finally ate at the Shaved Duck. I have to say, parts were sublime, parts were disappointing. We went in determined to try their version of pig candy: pig belly bacon with brown sugar, nuts, cheese and pear, and we wanted the smoked meatloaf. By “we” I mean I wanted Gary to…

  • Three Month Old Fortune Cookie

    I got this fortune on June 10th. Not a damn thing happened, only Libby planned a birthday trip to Chicago for next February. That will be good thing. The bad thing, of course, is that it is next February.

  • The First Decent Weather Since Spring, Part 2: Saturday 1:00 – 5:00

    Eventually I hauled Gary out of bed and we went to the zoo for the first time in a few years. All new zoo. They’ve rearranged everything so it is possible to go through the zoo and not set eyes on what they now call “Historic Hill.” You have to make a special detour to…

  • The First Decent Weather Since Spring, Part 1: Saturday 9:00 To 1:00

    The high on Saturday was predicted to be 75 degrees. NOT A TYPO. Julie tweeted she was headed out to the farmer’s market, and I thought, farm fresh eggs to make pasta with my fancy new pasta flour! Of course I researched farmer’s markets in my area. One was in a mall parking lot, and…

  • New Mattress!

    Not the one pictured: that’s the old mattress. Here’s how you can tell: a) This mattress is blue. There must be a twenty-first century mattress regulation dictating ivory as the only color. b) You can tell this is the old mattress by the Ellen butt pit in the foreground and the Gary upper-body pit closer…

  • Why I’m In The Guest Room

    Gary says I have developed a new type of snore. Not the restful “sawing wood” snore he can fall asleep to, but a syncopated snorffling noise that keeps him awake. He needs his sleep. To that end, he has sealed my mouth shut with a Band-Aid. His mouth is taped shut too, but that’s because…