Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: May 2012

  • Bring on the Shoestipation

    Shopstipated again. This time I’m specifically Vacation shopstipated. I’ve got more saved for a vaction than ever and we can’t figure out where to go. Perhaps because this vacation has to equal or surpass Paris. Perhaps because … no, it’s that last reason. It can never live up to Paris. Why even try? However, my…

  • Cough and Effect

    I am slowly determinig what makes me choke, what makes me cough, and what makes me stable. I still haven’t gotten an official reflux diagnosis, but I don’t think anyone will disagree. “Doctor, I choke when I drink that.”:Then don’t drink that.” Bad for me:CoffeeDark chocolateMozzarellaAlcohol (but I may keep testing this)Baked cheetoesOrange juice Good…

  • Let Me Know if This is Not Normal

    My brother calls me. That is normal. He calls me once a day, which I think is excessive, especially since he has nothing to say. He calls so I can entertain HIM, I think. Usually the calls decrease when he has a girlfriend, but he has had a girlfriend for a year, and he often…

  • Gary Curses

    Today, Gary slipped and described someone as an “asshole” in front of his parents. He slipped, but recovered so quickly it was one word: “assholesorry.” He is 58, so he was not grounded. (He might claim to have Tourette’s, so Tourette’s Gary can join Migraine Man and Seizure Gary in his stable of neurological superheroes.)…

  • UPDATE: BALLS! Two Hints That You Have Gone Over The Top In Planning Your Vacation

    See ABKCO Music v. Harrisongs Music regarding subconscious plagarism / cryptoamnesia. Dave from Blogography is right, he posted this before. I plead my extreme youth. I’m only 49. Here is his superior post. Please note viscount was not on his list, however. ===================================================== Graphic User Interface Hint 1: This is the first dropdown you encounter:…

  • I Feel Good

    Right this second, I feel really good. Let’s analyze why. The AC is blowing directly on me. Recently I’ve noticed I can tolerate the bitter cold just fine. I don’t turn away from the ac, ever. Gary tries to freeze me out and I say, bring it, boy, make those nips fall off, it can’t…

  • Murrrrderrr

    This morning, where the sidewalk and the driveway meet I saw a dead vole. I’m being respectful of your feelings, especially you cube dwellers having lunch at your desks before tying in to work. You don’t want to start your day with a rigor-mortized yellow-fanged blind vole next to a puddle of its own blood,…

  • Vacation, Got to Get Away.

    This past weekend, I said the word “vacation” to Gary and his back went out within the hour. Yesterday, I asked where he wanted to go on vacation, and he said, “Here?” Rewind to a month ago, when he said, “If we ever go to Hawaii again, I want to stay on Kauai. It’s the…

  • Cottonwood

    I work by a stand of cottonwood trees. I know this only because some days my visibility is limited by all this fluff flying at my car. I assume that’s the stuff. I never see it on the ground, only in the air. It links up like dust bunnies. (Everybody sing, to the tune of…

  • The Power of Denial

    Honestly, I opened the warming drawer and thought, what’s that bready stuff all over everything?