Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: August 2009

  • This sounds like a regrettable incident waiting to happen

  • Gary and Freddie refused to make out

  • Mr and Mrs Lucky Broadway Girl

    Lookit! ErinG is in Saint Louis.

  • Gary’s Pants Betray Him Once Again

    Previously on Gary’s Traitorous Pants: This. Synopsis. Gary’s pants have been known to tighten up around the Blackberry in his pocket and redial his last number dialed. In the past, this has frightened his parents and busted him as he lies about me to his coworkers. Gary has carefully locked his Blackberry as of late,…

  • “The I Hate to Cook Book” Nostalgia

    When I was in going through my recent ill-guided fusion cooking phase, I was at the grocery looking for shallots. “Wait,” I thought, “Can’t I just use green onions? That was in Mom’s I Hate to Cook Book. Shallots are just a fancy name for green onions.” Well, no, scallions are just a fancy name…

  • What My TiVo Says About Me

    Apologetic Prologue: First off, I know yesterday’s acquisition of a Hi-Def TV and TiVo sound like bragging. Right after I got my hours cut in half in the last recession a co-worker told me how wonderful his TiVo was and I wanted him to use it in the tub. But I remind myself that during…

  • Macaroni Grill Free Association

    Clockwise from soda: Me with saggy boobs and giant hands draped over my swollen belly A big saggy eyeball A tag (I cheated and traced the salt shaker bottom, then I had to make something out of it.) “I <3 my new TV ” (We had just bought a new TV for “my” room. I…

  • My Youth is Definitively Gone

    Here is how I know my youth is gone. [WARNING: Those of you who are young are going to be screaming in your head at me and Gary. YOUR youth isn’t gone.] [I’m looking into how to make this one of those Facebook quizzes. “ARE YOU OLD? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT!”] My car’s been…

  • Guster Concert in Greater Detail

    Well, really, Live on the Levee in greater detail. We got to the levee and parked in the parking garage, then we went off exploring. Of course, the first thing we noticed was that we could have parked on the levee as we had in our youth. Why does no one park on the levee…