Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: July 2009

  • Concert du jour guster

  • Live Blogging Australia

    Well, live-blogging the movie Australia was a good plan, what, FOUR HOURS AGO when I started watching it. I had to go get the laptop just a few minutes in, because after the Interpol warning prohibiting international piracy, then the boring old FBI warning, there is this warning: Warning: ABORIGINAL AND TORRES STRAIT ISLANDER VIEWERS…

  • The Chat-Up

    Well, here’s a full description of the guy I believe might have been chatting me up at the Coldplay concert. I report, you decide. First of all, the .75 Sisters walk much faster than I do, even though my thick non-muscular legs are six inches longer than their colt-like sexy legs, plus they parked in…

  • Birthday Month In Sight

    August 1 will be the first day of the Famous S_____ Birthday Month Celebration. I’ve been telling everyone I’m 47 all year, and technically I’m not 47 until well into August. (A point driven home by the frat boy who chatted me up during the Coldplay concert and then retreated when he had chatted enough…

  • In Which I Again Suffer Briefly From The Shopstipation

    Saturday we were out shopping, and I caught my reflection in a stray Macy’s mirror. I realized that in addition to the face and figure flaws I’ve had all my life, now my teeth are too small. Clearly, I need to draw attention away from my teeth and down to my bosom. Jewelry! And here…

  • Coldplay Concert

    Fin, the tour manager for BNL, is now the tour manager for Coldplay. I’m sure he is now enjoying a tasty snack of chilled revenge as he sees the Coldplay audience blasted with paper butterflies and giant yellow balloons. Mac and Cheese payback. The giant yellow balloons hurtling through the air at my FACE caused…

  • At the Coldplay concert with .75

  • Cloud Fusion

    As I’ve mentioned before, on the way home there is a hill followed by a valley and a vista full of clouds. I’ve often wanted to stop and take photos of the clouds, but tonight the clouds were so messed up I actually did it. It looked like God took all the leftover clouds from…

  • I am Up at One in The A to the M, whywhywhy.

    All did was have a vente cappucino. Hours ago. So I’m raving. Anyone who got an email from me tonight got a turbo-triple-shot email. So here’s some random scatter-shot bullets. My birthday is coming up, and for some reason we got a circular in the mail advertising guns. Gary placed it on the counter with…

  • Food Blog, You Say?

    How to make tonight’s dinner: Previous evening, make a pea soup based on chicken stock with roasted chicken bones. You must roast the bones. This is Key. Take the chicken meat you just tore off the bones and chill it overnight. Overnight, get up at 3 a.m., feel nauseated, go to bathroom, think “pork jowl!”…