Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: February 2009

  • Elvis

    Gary was in a rush to get to his haircut yesterday and was yelling at the IDIOTS in front of him who were FOOLISHLY driving the F____ING SPEED LIMIT THE HELL and then he honked at them. I looked at him in disgust. “Elvis doesn’t like when people are in front of him,” he said.…

  • Naked, Natural, and Romantic

    Naked The BNL Ships and Dip Naked Photo ’09 (taken by David Bergman, Big Deal Photographer). Here I am, in front of the yellow waterslide (edited to protect the innocent): Okay, you should see three women- I’m behind the second woman from the left. (I’m not edited. Check out my pixels.) See the sunglasses? Somehow…

  • Grace in Big Things

    1. No airplanes have fallen from the sky into my subdivision.

  • Cruise Moment

    With every cruise, there is a cruise moment, and mine came on Thursday night at 9:30 on the pool deck. The pool on the pool deck was empty, because it was 50 degrees out. That’s 50 Fahrenheit, by the way, and let me interject that nothing teaches you the difference between centigrade and Fahrenheit faster…

  • Obese Don’t Crease, Baby

    Good news from Time Magazine: Fat Reduces Wrinkles

  • How I wasn’t Alone

    I wasn’t very lonely on the cruise, for several reasons: Reason One Miss Manners says that there is a principle: “The roof constitutes an introduction,” and that while it doesn’t apply to a bus, it applies to a ship. (This always comforts me as I drop my robe and stand naked with a thousand others.)…

  • Spunky is thrilled to have Crocs autographed by the band.

    Spunky is thrilled to have Crocs autographed by the band.

    She was sure they had called her to the registration desk because of her Visa card, but evidently celebrity recycled Crocs were waiting for her. Crocs are good for Spunky, because otherwise her raw sexuality would be too much for mere men.

  • Six toed cock in key west

  • Hey CHRISTY -Rachel says hi!

    Pah! Previously titled “Hey Kristie -Rachel says hi!” – Because it was late and cold and I was brain dead. You can ask Rachel, she knows I know it’s Christy.

  • I did not buy this hat