Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: January 2009

  • In Defense of Twinkies

    I remember with pride the day I started a job at Ralston-Purina and saw that Twinkies were made by Continental Baking Company, a division of R-P. Twinkies AND Wonder Bread. This was in the ’90s. That’s why I was surprised when Gary said a Kansas City company had bought the Saint Louis Twinkie company and

  • Consider this a Time-Delayed Twitter

    Bullets vs Twitter – the same lack of thought, but bullets have a punctuation mark just for them. Google Analytics — my Oracle, my Wicked Witch crystal ball, my global spy/stalker network — once told me someone linked here via Twitter. You might just as well creep behind me, cover my eyes from behind and…

  • Lost: The Blog Entry

    About a week ago I emailed Gary the story of a little girl who recently died because her father had her walk ten miles in the snow. “I would so totally do this” was the subject line. Because, it’s TRUE. They would be whining about missing Christmas because the truck is broken, and I’d think…

  • A NSFW Haiku of Links

    Do you know there are very pricey vibrators Valentines Day Gift! (Someone on the cruise message board opened my eyes to this. An Artifically Intelligent vibrator? This is right up Gary’s alley.)

  • Semper Ubi Sub Sanctus Ubi

    I am truly not making fun of Mormons. Today. Certainly not when they are in the great beyond she doesn’t believe in non-Mormon underwear. So sad to see her all jaded in her eighties, though.

  • My Spidey Instincts are Tingling

    Look at the time on this. Right now it’s midnight. I got a phone call an hour ago and I am still enraged. I was making lamb meatballs at 10:55. It was such an early-evening thing to do that when the phone rang, it seemed natural, but when I realized the time I knew someone…

  • Unpopular Hot Nude Blondes

    I have released my inner Hot Nude Blonde. Her name is ShirLene. “How is that spelled? Gary asked. “S…h..i…r..capital L … e … ummm… let me start again … S … “ ShirLene is a Valley Girl who wears her sunglasses to bed. She will not be invited back, however. She’s noisy and wears too…

  • Hot Nude Blondes Revisited

    In every “Top Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage” article, “change your appearance with a wig” is at least in the top three. I’ve always wanted shiny long blonde hair, and I know Gary’s probably always wanted [a woman with] shiny long blonde hair. Given his interest in The Girls Next Door, he must…

  • Gary Reviews the “Big Guys Busting Stuff Up” Show

    I started out the new year by taking my Weekly Sleep early. (I think the Day of Sleep is the reason I always answer “No” on MS questionnaires when they ask about fatigue.) Since I was sleeping, Gary combated his fatigue by watching a TV marathon. When I woke up later he essentially pantomimed the…

  • Great Way To Start the New Year! I Love It.

    “Hey! I don’t go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!” – Kathy Griffin to the rowdy Times Square crowd right as Anderson Cooper went to commercial. Later – Ah! Youtube.