Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: October 2008

  • Shenanigans!

    I was in a photo shoot for work last week. I was playing a plump little dumpling of a middle-aged woman. I’ve worked to perfect this role for years, putting on weight, keeping it on just in case I am asked to play the part of a middle-aged female TeddyJ client. And then, I was!…

  • I’m Chiquita Banana and I’m Here to Say I Have a Pituitary Disorder

    I went grocery shopping. This was what Gary said when he came in later: [GRUMP grump] “…Stock market” [Grump GRUMP]”…McCain” [grump] “- Eeee! Itty-bitty bananas!” Then he did a little dance. He hasn’t actually eaten one yet. So, if the election and other world events are weighing heavily on you or someone you know, go…

  • Feel Free to Disagree

    Every once in a while I think, “I should post that,” and then I censor myself, because these are opinions that I know are not widely held. Like this opinion about Paris Hilton. Then I think, maybe these opinions aren’t scandalous, maybe they can just inspire debate. I don’t mean impassioned debate, more like a…

  • AlphaMeme

    Stolen from Ajooja, who at least had a good excuse for wussing out with a meme. Of course, I could stab myself in the eye too. Accent: Grave. Ha! No, I have no accent, and what American accent I have disappears after a minute of speaking to a Canadian or watching Flight of the Conchords.…

  • I Love, I Hate, I Want

    I love watching Rachel Maddow for two reasons: 1) I love her hair and 2) I love watching Pat Buchanan. Pat and my Dad were drinking buddies when Dad worked on 12th/Tucker and Pat worked at the Globe Democrat. Dad died the year before Pat B ran for president and Wayne Gretszy came to play…

  • Forgetiquette

    A few weeks ago I heard some co-workers talking about the surprise wedding shower they were throwing for another co-worker. I thought, “That’s okay, I don’t really know [co-worker, who is the groom-to-be], but still they shouldn’t be talking in front of me about a party I wasn’t invited to.” I wrote it off to…

  • I’m Only Happy When There’s Waffles

    What does a cold drizzly day say to you? To me it says, “Welcome to the International House of Pancakes! Would you like to try our new ‘Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity’ breakfast?” Yes, I was an IHOP waitress long ago. The first thing you learn about IHOP is that when it rains, people crave…

  • Sick

    I’m sick. Stupid head cold / sinus infection. I just want to stay home and read through this whole site: https://www.toastedrav.com/ (I did eat at Woofies yesterday. A good start.)

  • Barackastalker

    I’m a little freaked out. There’s his guy with a weird name and he has my email address. At first, he only sent me emails every few weeks, and he signed them “Thanks, Barack.” Weird, I thought. That’s kind of creepy. How did this guy get my email address? At first I assumed he was…

  • Basement Dream

    Whenever a friend suffers a death in the family, I tell them, “You think it’s bad now, you should feel it six months from now. It’s really hard then.” I say that because I am so thoughtful. And since I am the expert since Dad died twenty years ago. And I’m sure my friends find…