* Robert Bresson, French film director.
Long ago I was a pretty good artist. I can’t sculpt, I have no eye for color, but I draw a good nude. My favorite class was Figure Drawing, where my specialty was delicate line drawings of nude women.
Of course, I was far more comfortable with the female form. I had almost no experience with the male nude form. I blame myself, of course, and Michelangelo. All through high school I peered closely at many of Michelangelo’s works to see what a penis might look like and was presented with bullshit like this.
“Scribble Penis” by the Artist Michelangelo
“Stylized Penis” by the Artist Michelangelo
(Really, what does that tell me? It’s a potato growing out of a cauliflower cloud.)
At any rate, for the first three weeks of Figure Drawing we waited out the pervs who signed up for class just to drop it after they saw their nudes. Then, one day I was running late and thought, “Rats,” (truly) “It’s the first day with a nude and now I’m going to be late.”
Well, I was late, and worse yet, all of the drawing horses (sit-down easels) were taken. The horses were circled around the male nude’s table. The table he sprawled on. Sprawled on his back. Sprawled on his back with his legs bent at the knee dangling off the table. Like this guy.
Only naked. And young. And guess where the only available drawing horse was? Yes. Right between his knees. Scrotum Central.
I looked two or three times for another easel, then I said, “Oh, it’s just a body part.” Then I sat down, propped up my pad and drew a GREAT BIG CIRCLE because BALLS, meet Ellen. Ellen, may I introduce you to Balls?
I never got past the big circle because the instructor saw my focal point (balls), snorted, and said “Time for a new position.”
This is the same instructor who, later that semester, wanted us to exercise our powers of observation, so he moved the naked nude male model into the storage closet. Then we had to individually go into the closet, study the model for up to a minute, then go back and draw him from memory. People were drawing individual arm hairs to avoid peering at the private parts of the man you were trapped with in a storage closet.
I should start drawing again. I don’t suppose there are figure drawing classes at the Y.
18 responses to “In the nude, all that is not beautiful is obscene*”
Wow, I have drawn from life for years. There is a group meeting on Tues. evenings and if you email me…I assume you can see my address….I will forward the information. The cost of the model is split between the artists…the more artists the cheaper the cost. I work evenings now so I can’t go but I have drawn with these folks and they are very nice. and quiet, as figure drawing always is.
*grin* My brother took figure drawing at a community college in St. Louis and was always complaining that the nudes were always old people. And old people have lots of wrinkles making them harder to draw. It kind of cracked me up.
I think from the Queen’s focal point she’d have seen plenty of wrinkles even though the guy was young.
Let’s be honest here. You don’t want to be the artist. You want to be the model.
No, you don’t want to be the model. I worked as an artist’s model on and off for about two years. I worked for Disney Animation (Asian people trying not to meet your eyes), I did a couple of highschool classes (where I stood there naked and watched the teens try not to meet my eyes AND not giggle), for the local art’s community, and at Stetson Univerity.It’s hard to remember you are a human being when you are naked in front of 15 people and none of them will either speak with you (even when you put your robe on) or meet your eyes. It’s also a little weird when the 70 year old woman comes up after class and says “I LOVE your HIPS!” The 70 year ol d men won’t speak with you, but they tend to drool. It has nothing to do with how I looked, it was just I had boobs still about the right level.No, you don’t want to do it, at least not more than once. My husband did it for a while, too, and one young (male) artist had a drawing of him in a show. We saw the picture and my husband walked away, saying “My god, all he saw was my penis!” It did look a little like “Man with Penis” or maybe “Penis with Man”.
So what brought up this topic?And how the hell did you find the perfect photo? Your Google skills are impressive!
trapped in a storage closet with a naked man? somehow, i’d think the sexual harassment police would be all over that today.
trapped in a storage closet with a naked man? somehow, i’d think the sexual harassment police would be all over that today.
trapped in a storage closet with a naked man? somehow, i’d think the sexual harassment police would be all over that today.
Hahahaha. I love the picture of the man on the bed. What on earth did you google for that?When I went to Greece, all the men’s penii had been chopped off (even the marble ones) and some had been replaced with leaves. It was a little confusing for those of us who were naive. I thought perhaps Greece had an abundance of eunuchs.
I actually still have my drawings from college, male and female. Once I stopped the teenaged giggling at my first experience with a nude man, I did some pretty decent work.And I’m willing to bet that nude figure drawing is no longer a part of the university curriculum in that part of Missouri. They’re nekkid, dontcha know. It’s probably more like the John Ashcroft Pillows-of-Shame Drapery Over Nude Figure Drawing.Still, Brad Pitt seemed to grow up there and he managed to shake it off. There’s hope.
Everyone – Typepad is wonked up. It appears to have forgotten my ID number. So, a post will be written and hopefully posted tomorrow morning. I hope I’m not disrupting your tea / oatmeal schedules.JO – Somehow I feel that would be odd if it isn’t in a college setting – but then again, the classmates might be older.Kim – Not am excess of wrinkles since our people were young, but one woman had a very prune-like belly.Big Dot – Yes, and THAT is what is wrong with Michaelangelo’s David. Too Smooth.Caroline – No way – I modeled for art class in my clothes once and people volunteered to me that my legs were seriously out of proportion.Sherri – Oh, we talked to our female models. Not the guys – one guy was on the nods and fell off his stool.#.75 – Being in Libby’s office with the half-naked bride made me think of the art storage closet.magpie magpie magpie – I see early evidence of Typepad’s recent wonkiness.Katie – Leaves? That’s not possible. I call sarcasm on you!Friend #3 – Did you just say something about Brad Pitt naked?
Brad Pitt naked? YUMMEEEEE!!! Sadly, the boy was still in high school when I lived there.
WAIT…how did you get to be IN the office with the bride half-naked??YOU ALWAYS have to ONE-UP me!!!!!!! 😛
I have a copy of the Brad Pitt Nekkid Pictures. Not so much, somehow. Meh.
I just realized I never said how I found “laying on back knees dangling” – I think it was that, plus Safe Search had to be disabled, plus it took me twenty freaking minutes so thank you for noticing.Friend #3 – eww. Then again, I was nine when Gary was in high school.Friend 0.75 – I helped her put on her wedding dress so she could model it for us.Becs – yes, I think a man should be 10-20 pounds overweight to look good naked. Otherwise, they look good dressed, but not nude.
there are nude sittings at the St Louis Artist Guild every week. they cost a few dollars for non-members. there is a variety to choose from.
PolymorphicGirl (Hi, PolymorphicGirl) – Thanks! I will look into that.