Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: December 2007

  • Let the Fun Begin!

    Fun in ’08! After I get the damn house cleaned up on Dec 31, ’08 will begin, and I already have loads of things to look forward to: 1. Clinical Trial begins 1/2/08. I’m such a nerd. Why am I all excited about being tested like a lab rat? It’s all the male authority figure…

  • Brush with Greatness

    Brush with Greatness

    I was stone dead asleep early this evening when Gary woke me up, screaming something about football history being made. Evidently, there was an important game on. I didn’t care, I don’t follow football, but I like watching Gary watch football. Plus, the halftime show with Marshall Faulk brought back fond memories for me. To…

  • Dueling ‘Tudes

    I’ve had two people who have influenced the way I react to bad news. My Mom, of course, and her best friend, “Aunt” Carleen. I am trying to figure out what they had in common so I could bottle their strength in adversity. I’ve come to the conclusion they are opposites. Put a major setback…

  • In Which My Brother-in-Law Almost Gets It

    All I know is we were putting gifts in piles on Christmas Eve. I was at the in-laws with the whole (Christmas-observing) crowd: Gary, Karen, Karen’s husband (Mr. Wonderful), Ken, Wilma, me. As I bent over my pile, there were footsteps behind me. The last thing I heard was Karen bossing her husband, demanding he…

  • UPDATED: Shake It Like a Polaroid

    UPDATED: Shake It Like a Polaroid

    When I was young (I mean over twenty-one) Gary got me a Polaroid camera for my birthday. (Technically, it was one of the short-lived Kodak Cameras.) For some insane reason, he gave it to me at my family birthday party. Dad asked, “But why did you get her a camera? She has a camera already.”…

  • The Haul

    The Haul

    In honor of the season and her sturdy teeth, I bought the Queen Mother some candy for Christmas. I also got her a book with large print, in honor of her literacy and poor eyesight. Then, in May when we had encountered armadillos in Memphis on the way to the BNL concert, she told us…

  • Thoughts After Ones Third Straight Viewing of ‘A Christmas Story’

    Wilma and Ken saw A Christmas Story last year, hated it, said they were bored, turned it off. This year, Karen said ‘I hate that movie. It’s stupid.” (Karen also asked me not to remind her of anything embarrassing; if she’s forgotten catching me “naked” there’s a reason why.) Last year I clutched my head…

  • Huh. A Question Wikipedia Can’t Answer?

    I would write a post tonight, but I’m busy researching a question. I was watching The Santa Clause 2 tonight. (I wasn’t watching very attentively, because I was making risotto in order to use up the vat of chicken broth I had after Soupfest ’07.) At any rate, I was watching The Santa Clause 2…

  • In Your Face Food

    In Your Face Food

    Soon, we will plunge our faces into the official Christmas food. I am particularly prepared for this, having followed the post-pancreas low-fat diet faithfully. I heard recently that “ham” is typical Christmas food. I never had ham for Christmas. (Mom will correct me, I’m sure.) I know we had a Breakfast smörgåsbord that was delicious.…

  • Everybody do the Flagrante Delicto

    Well, one of the in-laws has been caught in a compromising position. In the act. Explicitly, the act of having sex. Not to put too fine a point on it, but, naked. I feel for the Horny Naked In-Law, because this individual is of the younger generation. I want to say, “We’ve all been there,”…