Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: November 2006

  • Glass / Guitar

    Glass / Guitar

    I love the guitar. I love that I pulled out some Christmas Carol music and I could hear the Christmas Carols as I played them. The nicest thing is that as you learn the guitar you aren’t dogged by the evidence of your ignorance (unless you are foolish enough to have recorded it). When I…

  • Crooked Winter

    Crooked Winter

    If I blogged responsibly I would have stopped the car on the highway, framed the photo, taken this photo, then continued driving. But instead, what we have here is a freaky Global Warming cloud formation: I suppose if I wanted to bother Friend #2 I could have Photoshopped it.

  • Let Them Eat the Ex

    Gary did not help with the leaves, even though It. Was. 70. Degrees. In. November, which is God’s way of saying “I really wish thou would clean up thine yard this year.” Because of this, Gary had to buy me dinner. As we were eating, I was explaining the very little I needed to do…

  • Dog Thanksgiving

    You may have noticed I haven’t said much about Turkey Day at the S_______s, except there was, of course, pie. I’ve been working out exactly how to explain this year’s unique brand of chaos. See, Gary and I had girded our loins for the explosive combination of Sandy and her brood reacting with the rest…

  • Phraseology

    I had a little time to kill today and I decided to find out specifically what a “dirty Sanchez” is. I went to Urban Dictionary and had a delightful few moments watching funny definitions roll by. Things like “subwoofing,” which I do, and “earjacking,” which I worked into my conversation tonight. And then I went…

  • I Know You Don’t Care

    I know No One Cares What [I] Had for Lunch, but I had pie. Carmel Apple pie at Mom’s. Then at Wilma’s I had Pumpkin Pie, forever to be known as Arzaana-Fay’s Special Pumpkin Pie, and also Pecan Pie. I also had some Chocolate Pie. Wilma knows we like the 1111 Mississippi restaurant, and she…

  • Hey, Hey, It’s a Monkey

    So we were driving home down Highway 94 after dinner. Gary had been quiet since he is in pain with the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. (If I sigh impatiently at his grumpiness he will exclaim, entirely without irony, “Come ON! I have a degenerative nerve disorder!” ) He was driving even with the Degenerative Nerve Disorder…

  • Unclean! Unclean!

    For all those who are cleaning madly in preparation for holiday festivities, allow me to share with you my wisdom: 1. Do not clean for a party. Sweep, don’t mop,and only vacuum lightly if you need to. Only one person will be able to appreciate the clean house, then when the first group of people…

  • Remember These?

    Remember These?

    I got SO excited when I was at the Field Museum and saw the Dinosaur Extruder – or whatever it’s called, the thing at museums that create Piping Hot Dinosaurs! For a mere $1.50 (they must never change the price) and a minute of your time you can have a hot hot, ow, hot! dinosaur,…

  • Ten Things I Learned in Chicago

    Ten Things I Learned in Chicago

    1. My husband only gets excited about a trip when his suitcase is packed: 2. Pandas are not as cute dead and stuffed: 3. Large portions of the elevated railway are BELOW ground. (“I don’t see the EL here at all. Careful, you’ll fall into that subway. NO, there’s no EL station here.”) 4. Luckily…