Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: March 2006

  • Bring the Profanity (Warning: Explicit language)

    There has been much in the news of late about how Americans are living in an “Age of Profanity.” Is this a bad thing, I ask? If you don’t hear profanity on a regular basis and understand it, you would be…my in-laws. For example, Wilma and I were talking about showers vs baths. She said…

  • The Amazing Talking Face

    What struck me as I had my six-month checkup with the neurologist is how well we communicate. In particular, we have a fine non-verbal communication. I am always called on the carpet for my pointed non-verbals. In my first job my boss pulled me aside to suggest I stop being so rude to Maria. “But…

  • Is This Going to Win Me an MRI?

    Tomorrow when I have my 6-month checkup with the neurologist, he will ask if I have had any MS symptoms. I will have to tell him Marcia has been counting every time I choke at work (and thank you, Marcia). (I need a ‘sincere’ emoticon so people know when I’m not being sarcastic.) Oh, and…

  • In Memoriam

    In Memoriam

    We had to put Douglas to sleep. It turned out he didn’t have Addison’s, his very first X-Ray showed body parts in entirely the wrong locations. He wasn’t in pain, but it was just a matter of time. The vet gave us the option of keeping him there over the weekend, doing exploratory surgery, and…

  • Dog Death with Dignity

    One December morning I was making Christmas cookies with my friend Carol. The house was full of Christmas Crap decor – all the stuff that waits 11 months in the basement to come upstairs and clutter up your house during the holidays, and you have to move out your regular crap to make room for…

  • This Week in Happy TV

    Two things on TV made me happy this week. Helen Thomas chewed some Presidential ass at the press conference. I want to hug Helen Thomas almost as much as I want to hug the creators of South Park for taking on the “fruity little club.”

  • Passport of Dorian Gray

    Passport of Dorian Gray

    This is what happens after 12 years of hard living. It’s not that I’m vain, but note the regal bearing in the passport photo on the left. Note the washerwoman aspect in the eye of the passport photo on the right. It is horrifying. Even more horrifying? What about the next passport photo?

  • Mad Dogs and German Men

    Doug, the Sickly White Dog, has been increasingly sickly. He was feeling pretty peaked when he went for some dental work . Gwen the assistant even commented he was not looking in top form and had lost weight. I commented this might be because he is Bulimia Dog and has puked every day for a…

  • It’s That Time Of Year

    It’s That Time Of Year

    This is what causes winter depression:

  • Three Funerals and No Wedding

    My uncle Jack died and I went to the visitation today. Jack was my Dad’s brother, and therefore my step-uncle. It’s a little complicated: I consider Dan (my stepfather) to be my Dad, my step-grandmother my grandma, but Jack is my step-uncle. Since Dad died seventeen years ago, we haven’t heard much from that side…