Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: May 2025

  • A new member of our family

    I came home last night and Gary said, “There’s a fly in the house.” “Oh well,” I said, “We’ll get it with one of the electric rackets.” “Not this one. Electricity can’t take him down. He’s huge.” He saw my skeptical glance and added, “He’s a dirigible.” It was then I heard the thud as…

  • My Secret

    Someone at work was skeptical that I could ever marry again if Gary left me. “How odd,” I thought, with my 62-year-old raisin brain. “Why does she think I would have trouble finding a new spouse? Perhaps she’s only encountered those men who shy away from commitment.” Back in the day I never knew a…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 5/29/2025

    This week the Iris went from this: … to this.

  • Review: The Pitt

    I must say I am enjoying The Pitt, which is like ER without the soapiness. There’s a little soapiness, but not like ER had with doctors boning in every supply closet. Things I like: Things I don’t like: Just one little gesture. Instead, they must have gotten out the calipers and skewed her clip every…

  • Retirement

    People at work — friends at work — have begun to retire. It’s all made me think about my retirement as a real impending thing. My template for retirement: my Mom retired 12 years younger than I am now, and her friends slowly followed her into retirement until only one friend was left at the…

  • Cremi

    In this month’s fat post, I promise you I won’t use the term “weight loss journey.” I don’t journey, I ultimately end up where I started. My weight loss … “orbit.” That’s it. I continue to spend two days out of seven burping like a stevedore. This is because I must pound down 83 grams…

  • TWIL: Types of visual disturbances

    After I had that recent visitation of the colorless optic paperclip migraine, the neurologist recommended I go see an ophthalmologist. I put that off. Because really, what happened? My weird visual thing visited me again, just in black and white. The same thing happened with my weird green spinny thing I had for years. I…

  • What’s important

    So, the me you see recently is not the normal me. You have seen me giving myself the weight loss drugs, wearing the mouth-bright flashlight, applying the wigs, and considering the eyelashes. I usually don’t care that much about my appearance. But now that it has declined SO dramatically since I turned sixty, it seems…

  • UPDATED: Bear Tracker

    There’s a bear 13 miles away. Right now. Don’t know the direction it’s heading. I could get in my car right now and tool around that Ward and toss popcorn out the window and seduce the bear into my yard. My popcorn brings all the bears to the yard. ======== Twelve hours later, bear is…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 5/22/2025

    This is the Iris. (I think it is. It might be an orchid — no it’s an Iris. It’s a bearded Iris.) I think I might want to glaze it, working like I would with watercolors and using the transparent paints. But that takes a lot of patience.