Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: July 2024

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 7/11

    This week Mom’s Face on a Boat went from this: to this.

  • The Great Compliment Shift

    Gary, bless him, is generally not a jealous man. I take credit for part of that: early on in our marriage, when he would show a hint of jealousy, I would ask, “What part of me bellowing like a rhinoceros don’t you understand?” That did the trick, with a few exceptions. There was onetime, I…

  • Goldie Makes Us Aware We Have a Problem

    So, I have an ethical problem. Last night, at two in the morning, Goldie emerged from the basement with yes, another mouse. This time both Gary and I were awake for the mouse presentation. (It is really remarkable how little a broom affects a mouse, by the way. I wailed away on that thing, truly…

  • Goldie: Poses

    In honor of the upcoming Olympics, here is Goldie doing his pike dive pose. Goldie spent the entire day Saturday in my bed. I was also in bed for most of the day. On Sunday, however, he was sick of the smell of me and tucked himself into Gary’s cervical collar in a basket inside…

  • TWIL: Operation Fishbowl

    Sure, the Russians bombed the atmosphere first, but certainly they couldn’t have compiled a table more horrifying than this one. That table lists the horrors of Operation Fishbowl, the early 60’s space bomb tests. It is summarized below. Seriously, early 60s, as soon as people get into space, they say, “Hey, what would happen if…

  • Favorite attire

    Favorite attire

    Remember when the pandemic started and we all started wearing soft pants? I did that. Sweat pants, pajama pants. And then I went softer. And shorter. And manlier. I’ve been wearing the black pair of Gary’s original Jockey brand boxer briefs detailed in this post. This post from, dare I say it, 2008. Sixteen years…

  • Bear of 2024

    Since the pandemic bears seem to have taken to roaming Saint Louis suburbs. Bear of 2020, Bruno, seventeen miles away. Bear of 2021, Brentwood Bear, twenty miles away. However, there seemed to be no bears in 2022 or 2023, at least not reported here, unless you count Ben the escape artist bear at the zoo.…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 7/4

    This week Mom’s Face on a Boat went from this: … to this, because that drawing was messed up. Now it’s just the eye on the left that’s wonky. And too much hair top right. And the smile needs to be more angular on the left. And more jaw … and … and.

  • Bladder Botox: One week out

    The Botox is definitely having an effect. Not the effect I was expecting, but it’s only just shy of a week. (I’ve read it takes two weeks to really lock in.) Here’s what’s different. The ease. I wake up, close the bathroom door, sit down, and instantly what feels like a weighty amount of urine…

  • Cat Calls Part 2: Mouse Call

    The “I have caught a mouse” call is a smug growl, equal parts warning and pride. MRRRER MOW. Had someone been listening they would have heard: “Goldie what is it — Oooh! You killed a mouse! You killed it and brought it upstairs, you smart boy. Pose for the picture, that’s good. Here, let me…