Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: April 2024

  • Pre Bladder Botox Adventure

    So, I am going in soon for the Bladder Botox, and I confess I am a bit nervous about it, but if I am to be intermittently out in the world I can’t walk about clutching my crotch to keep the pee in. Gary gives me gentle reminders that BOTOX IS POISON and I could…

  • Gary’s Instagram

    Disclaimer: This post was reviewed and approved by Gary himself. Don’t feel any second-hand embarrassment on his behalf. I visit Instagram every five years, evidently, because no one takes photos of their children going to remedial summer school or their family arguing on vacation. But, Gary wanted to show me this Meta AI feature, so…

  • TWIL: Auto-brewery Syndrome

    If your liver is sufficiently screwed up, and you have the rare enzyme disorder below, your body will take in carbs and ferment them into alcohol in your belly. And then, you get legitimately breathalyzer drunk. Auto-brewery_syndrome The entry above says it’s rare, but then it says liver problems can cause the condition. So perhaps…

  • Petty Cat

    There was some fallout from the day I did not play with the cat. The next day the cat seemed to have no interest in our usual routine. No furminating, no post-furmination petting, no coffee for me / treats for him special time. Just a glance of equal parts contempt and disinterest. After the evening…

  • Shoes

    I went in to work the day before yesterday. I wanted to wear my wedding ring, so no one would again make the understandable assumption I was divorced. Only, now every ring I own is too large or too small. Also, I wanted to wear my overly-long dress pants, and that meant finding my tall…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 4/25

    This week Grim Gary went from this: … to this. Wow, that needs to be lightened up a lot, both literally and figuratively.

  • Cat-Free Plan for the Day

    I intend to leave the house today, for both work and play, and possibly even an errand. This means that I will miss the cat’s crepuscular play time. At dawn and dusk Goldie wants to kill small things. He signals that it is killing time by lying on one of our two small rugs and…

  • White Sauce

    I once heard someone defend middle-class casseroles, saying Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup was just pre-made Bechamel sauce. I thought of that last night when I made a fancy version of Pork Chops in Cream of Mushroom soup. I skimmed the recipe I found online. I assembled my ingredients: pork chops, spices, portobello mushrooms, lah…

  • Rewriting the Novel: I am Too Dumb To Write a Book

    I got back up on the book pony yesterday. I had ignored a series of problems, and I was ready to take them on. Problems: How? The logistics didn’t work. Raise your hand if you know. Seriously, I pondered it ten minutes before I realized that I could go right back to my previous draft,…

  • TWIL: TV Phone calls

    Evidently The Guardian knows the secret behind why TV characters never say “goodbye” at the end of phone calls. It’s because tv shows are timed down to the minute, and they cut the “Goodbyes” so they don’t have to cut the jokes or the drama. I, personally, get taken out of the moment if I…