Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: April 2022

  • Religion, Again

    Elvis’s gospel catalog popped up on Alexa the other day. It’s hard to resolve the two personas of Elvis: gospel-singing Elvis and drug-addled Elvis. I’ve decided he was all-in on the gospel and only half-hearted about the drugs. I was only half-listening, and a song came up on the rotation with the words “and the…

  • The Gary Diet

    Encouraged by the short-lived success of the Gulag Diet and the Six-Bite Diet, Gary has invented another diet: the Caesar Diet. Every few days he makes a gallon of Caesar salad and gnaws on that when he feels hungry. Hungry at breakfast? Eat some salad. Hungry at midnight? Eat some salad. “Healthy salad!” Gary says.…

  • Pension

    It was last June when Gary began the process to get his pension. He hasn’t worked there for decades, so it wasn’t a turnkey operation, plus the company was sold to another major aeronautical company late in his tenure. So he somehow had two pensions, and that complicated things. Plus, he wants it dispensed as…

  • UPDATED; Easter

    For the first time since I have known him, Gary has not purchased an excessive number of Easter Bunnies. He almost got there last year when he bought two bunnies for one person. This year ZERO bunnies. End of an era. But the day is not over. ======== UPDATE; He didn’t make it through the…

  • UPDATED: Neurologist visit

    So excited to have seen the neurologist Thursday, because I heard Evusheld and Plaxovid are finally available to the general immunocompromised public, and I knew one of them could act as an effective vaccine, and if so I would like some, please. I have already forgotten which one is pre-infection and which is post-infection, but…

  • Bill of Rites

    It’s Good Friday, and I am thinking about religion. I’m a hybrid of baby Catholic, teenage Southern Baptist, and adult Agnostic. Here are the three of seven sacraments I have participated in. Baptism I was baptized Catholic, grandfather was a convert, there was no debate. They sprinkled me and evidently that got me into heaven.…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 4/14

    This week the dog went from this: … to this. I think it’s time to compare values with the original. And I overdid the upper lip. But some parts are better. One more pass, I think.

  • Oscar Meyer Yum Choir

    So I didn’t notice it at the time, but last year the Oscar Meyer company evidently began an ad campaign in which a choir sings the word “yum” repetitively. It was only this year that the grey-uniformed singers began to look sinister. Look at these guys. Do they look a little Russian to you? Vladimir…

  • Billions

    Billions writers, enough with the pop-culture references. This is me watching Billions. (Pauses TV.) “Alexa. Who is Greg Stilson?” “Here’s something I found on the web. According to fightbookmma.com, from 2002-2007 Flanery played the troubled politician, Greg Stilson, opposite Anthony Michael Hall in the USA network’s The Dead Zone.” (One minute later.) “Alexa. Who is…

  • Calcium, Vitamin D, Which Came First?

    Well, blood numbers came back for my physical, and they are wonky. The Dread Wonky Numbers. Really, only two are wonky: the calcium and the vitamin D. Or the vitamin D and the calcium, which may seem like the same thing, but it is not. The vitamin D levels may have increased for no reason,…