Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: October 2020

  • Rewriting The Novel: The Muse Pays An Untimely Visit

    I went to bed Thursday night at 9:30. I confess I have a TV in my room. I find that if I start winding down with the news I will eventually be sleepy enough to fall asleep during the Colbert monologue. That’s about 10:30 my time. I also find if I don’t fall asleep during…

  • Toes

    I heard a sigh. I looked down at my feet. Spunky Labia, International Toe Porn Superstar, looked discontent. “Appendage!” she pouted, “I feel neglected.” So I dug out the gummy nail polish I have not used for seven years and gave her a little makeover. She’s happy now. I haven’t worn makeup since early March…

  • Weekly Paint Progress: 10/8

    This week the sunflowers went from this … … to this: I went forward, and then I took some parts backwards, back down to white, so I can start again. … and the pears went from this … … to this: … and I was aiming for this: Fair. Green Pear is overworked, Red pear…

  • Binge Selection

    Now that Gary and I are back to our old habits, we are having our old disagreements. One disagreement is over what to watch on the television. He was quite miffed that I refused to watch The Nutcracker with him. (“Dancing mice,” I said. “Sugar plum fairies. Hard pass.”) I may still use The Nutcracker…

  • Trump On Steroids

    While I was on high-dose steroids in 2005, I installed Karaoke software at work, and then I sang Karaoke in my cube during the work day, even while my boss stood next to me. She would not sing with me, nor would Friends 2 or 3. Now President Trump is on steroids — specifically Dexamethasone,…

  • Nutty Squirrel

    About a month ago, I was looking out at the patio from our back door, and noticed a peculiar metallic noise. It didn’t take long to track it to the one metal thing on the patio: the Weber barbecue kettle. A squirrel had identified the ash-catching pan as a recent Amazon purchase, and decided the…

  • Fajitas

    Our dining experiences have been very dull these last few months. It has been months since Gary and I ordered a pizza. For some reason I got a yen to have a date night and order something other than fast food. As soon as I opened that mental door, my belly growled, “ME WANT FAJITAS.”…

  • The Novel: Characters Rebel

    I have read authors say that sometimes, you think a character’s going to do one thing, and then as you type along the character does something else. “Horseshit,” I think, because I am a lady. “How could that happen? The characters are imaginary. They don’t think any thoughts without the writer putting those thoughts there.”…

  • Stop Me If I’ve Said This Before: coping mechanisms

    Abandoned Draft Version: c symphonies neesum dorma bnl Food … can control it ‘drugs Smoking .. 40 yo smoker Exercises … ed and mcdonalds Present Day: Any guesses? Anyone? I think I was mulling over all the things people do to control their bodies and moods with outside stimuli. Symphonies can perk your mood or…

  • A Remarkable Political Season

    I was astonished to realize it’s only about 31 shopping days until the election. It feels wrong. Is it the weather? It’s not that cold: it can’t be election weather. It’s certainly not see your breath at 6am November weather. Is it because we haven’t had daylight savings time yet? Is that the problem? Nope.…