Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: September 2020

  • Debate

    Who said what during the debate: Wallace: “Please, gentlemen!” Me: “Jesus, there are no rules? And no commercials?” Biden: “Would you shut up, man” Wallace: “Mr. President, did you pay $750 in taxes last year?” Biden: “You are the worst president America has ever had.” Wallace (shouting, legit full-on shouting at the president): “NO!” Me:…

  • Banana Bread: the Miracle of the Loaves

    I watched the new episode of the Great British Baking Show. Per usual, afterward I looked at my kitchen, saw my seven overripe bananas, and was inspired to make a full batch of banana bread. Behold, the bread. Miraculously, They are Risen. My banana bread very rarely rises, and if it does then the dome…

  • Review: The Goes Wrong Show

    I am watching a new show: The Goes Wrong Show. (I believe it’s based on The Play That Goes Wrong, which depicts actors trapped in a play filled with failing props and missed cues and disintegrating sets.) I’ve only seen the first three episodes, but it had some really remarkable physical comedy. I forgot how…

  • Another Haunting by Mom’s Storage Unit

    Last time I saw an apparition of my old nemesis it was behind Matthew Broderick on Better Things. This most recent haunting was on MSNBC. Is it an omen? Does Mom have something to say?

  • Cough Syrup

    I have been plagued with an annoying wet cough. Not bad. It’s a little cat cough. It could be allergies. Gary also has a cough, one of those dank phlegm-y coughs where you think the cougher must be putting it on. I don’t see how his lungs are still anchored after one of these coughs.…

  • Stop Me If I’ve Said This Before: voice

    Abandoned Draft Version: God same voice as when depressed Present Day: So, when I was in junior high school I got in with the Baptists and became saved, born again, converted. It didn’t last past my father’s death. I had to reconsider all my beliefs after Dad died, given that he was not one of…

  • Because

    My MRI came back clean last week. No new lesions. Of course, that was useful before, but now I’m more concerned with brain volume, which wasn’t measured by this year’s MRI technician. I can tell you exactly the white matter I have lost. I have lost the neurons that allow me to spell the word…

  • C-Span

    I very rarely hear non-liberal voices. I do have three conservative friends on Facebook, and will I keep them (even though one is a devoted Trumpster) because I like to hear other points of view. That same spirit led me to watch the President’s press conference last week, but because most news channels are fact-checking…

  • Neighbors are Moving

    The neighbors across the street are moving because they have sold their house. (The Biden yard sign didn’t influence anyone, I imagine.) They’ve been our neighbors since 1988. I still don’t know their names. The husband is Gary … something that starts with a V or an R. Here are the names of some of…

  • September 2020

    I made the mistake of watching the 9/11 footage last week. I watch it every year. There are just some things so horrible your brain never absorbs them, and no matter how many times you remind yourself, you still can’t believe it. Similarly, I can’t count the number of times this year I’ve had to…