Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: September 2016

  • Catching Up

  • UPDATED: Yard Signs

    A few weeks ago, I said to Gary, “You know what’s weird about this election? I haven’t seen a single Trump or Hillary yard sign.” But what Gary heard was, “We have to to put a Hillary 2016 sign in our front yard!” I don’t want that yard sign. I’m not a yard sign kind…

  • UPDATED: Necklace

    i don’t know what I have against beads. Well, except that they’re expensive. At least now I’ve leveled up from actual trash. UPDATE: I wore it to work Tuesday and only fifty percent of the people I spoke with noticed I was wearing tiny bags of Fritos around my neck.

  • We Age Twenty Years Over Labor Day Weekend

    Friday Friday, Gary and I went kayaking at Creve Couer Lake. Since then I have woven kayaking into every sentence I can. “What do you want for dinner, Ellen?” “That kayaking really made me hungry. Let’s have pizza.” Or, “Ellen, do you remember the last time I bought nuts?” “Friday, either before or after we…

  • Cheekbones

    I’ve recommitted to my diet. After two days of recommitting I noticed my cheekbones were more defined. For half a week I would admire my newly defined cheekbones every time I went to the bathroom, so, ten times a day. This morning I realized one of the bathroom lightbulbs is burned out. Sad. I am…