Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: July 2016

  • Ant Graveyard

    Gary was excited to find an ant graveyard in the garage. I, personally, had no idea ants even had grayeyards. When I came home on the day that Gary made this discovery, I got an education on ant funerals. The other ant graveyard is under the car. Friend #3 asked if they were segregated by…

  • Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Patio

    Yesterday, after Gary left for his parents, a woman with a baby rang our front doorbell. I was in my bathrobe, because noon. She said: “I’m your neighbor next door. I know you feed the animals … “ Oh no, here it comes, I thought. The neighbors are putting a stop to the 20 raccoons…

  • Trigger Warning

    Skunks having sex. Not a loving encounter. It is not successful. He’s biting her neck to get her to ovulate. I think she’s too young. It might be a dominance thing, only why the neck biting then?

  • I Adapt to Semi-Blindness

    This morning I got up, put on my glasses, visited the kitchen, and on the way back to the bedroom I thought, “Wow, my vision is really blurry.” I stopped, took off my glasses, and checked to make sure they weren’t Gary’s. Nope. I rubbed my eyes. Did no good. I couldn’t quite tell if…

  • Whimsy

    Since I hatched this scheme to make a jigsaw puzzle necklace, I’ve learned a lot about jigsaws. The most astonishing is that some jigsaw puzzles cost 80 bucks. They are wooden, and some of the pieces are what they call whimsies – identifiable shapes that fit in with the other pieces. Of course, I didn’t…

  • Still Not Knitting, Though

    While I was waiting for my ear piercing to heal, I tried to find earrings to match every necklace I have. I hunted for matching silver feather earrngs for one necklace. On the first of July it occurred to me that I could snip two feathers off the necklace, and “attach them somehow to some…

  • The Moment We Feared Has Come to Pass

    I have feared this moment for months. The fox and the kits in the same space. I’ve pictured babies being carried off in the fox’s jaw. Our fox is a pussy.