Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: April 2016

  • Prairie Settle Loveseat

    In 1999, I fell in love with a loveseat. Mr. Stickley must have had me in mind when he designed the original. Look at that nice broad wood shelf, perfectly designed for a plate of microwaved leftovers. So forward thinking, Mr. Stickley. I then assembled a collection of furniture around the loveseat. It was inspired…

  • Garden Growth

    That’s a plan I made for my landscaping, twenty years ago. I carefully researched every plant. I measured the area and plotted the correct distances between plants and evaluated the sun and exposure. I researched the best nurseries in my area, Eventually, I planted it all. Two decades later, after years of nurture, most of…

  • Car Wash Adventure

    Saturday I began gardening at seven am. I thought I’d only be a few hours, but at eleven Gary woke up, came out, saw my face, and abducted me. This is how the abduction went down: “Gary, help me finish this gardening.” “No, we have to go now to get your car. They called to…

  • Bank

    I was at the bank earlier this month because a transfer I’d made from the Credit Union to the bank hadn’t gone through. I’d made it a month earlier, and the money had left the credit union, but not arrived at the bank. It was in Lucre Limbo. Pecuniary Purgatory. For a month. And because…

  • Friday Freakout: Red Light Edition

    It has been a week without tears, or mood swings, or arguments with Gary. Well, there was one argument with Gary Friday night, and it was notable how calm I stayed. We went out for miniature golf, of all things, which was some degree of fun. There are no rules when we play miniature golf,…

  • Comedy In Its Purest State

    We have been naming the raccoons. There’s Snow White, the delicate princess who exclusively eats with her hands, Patch, who has missing fur, Nosey who wiggles his nose when he eats, and Blackie. Yes, Blackie is black.The names aren’t at all clever. Just a way for us to figure out if any of the dead…

  • Fun with Radiation

    Weldon Spring is an EPA Superfund cleanup site right outside of St. Louis. There was a uranium processing plant there in the 50s. In the 70s, Gary’s high school biology class went to Weldon Spring to observe the two-headed frogs and learn about radiation. We’d lived ten miles away for a decade before the EPA…

  • Friday Freakout: Radio Silence Edition

    I decided that it would be wrong to bypass the psychiatrist’s opinion, so before I go see a counselor I’m going to visit him. I left a message Thursday afternoon, but I haven’t heard back. My mood has been elevated by earrings and wildlife. Earrings: I plan to wear these on days I wake up…

  • Accident and Other Traffic Drama

    About a week ago, I witnessed a traffic accident. I was stopped at a light, waiting to turn left, when a young man impulsively gunned his gray car toward me and an old man barreled over a hill and T-boned the young man. I was not paying careful attention, but I remember seeing the young…

  • An Expedition to Big Joel’s Animal Safari

    This weekend’s adventure was to Big Joel’s Safari Petting Zoo and Animal Park, thirty minutes west on Highway 70.. You know we love animal parks, but the drive-through parks discourage you from touching the elk, the bison, etc. Petting zoos let you pet the animals, but that’s about all the interacting you can do. Not…