Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: July 2012

  • Someone Invent This

    Do people still take Antabuse? It was prescibed to alcoholics and make them very sick if they drank. It didn’t work for technical father Jerry, he took it and drank anyway, but I still like the theory. Immediate negative reinforcement. I need Antabuse for food. Now that I’ve had this experience with caffeine provoking an…

  • And then there are those days God flips you off in the parking lot

  • Chinese Lantern Festival at the Botanical Garden

    We had tickets to the Chinese Lantern Festival thanks to the Wonderfuls, and the temperatures were down to a mere 90 degrees this evening, so we went. And so did everyone else in Saint Louis. And they all wanted to take photos. I don’t blame them. The lanterns were indeed lovely at night. I could…

  • Busy Saturday

    In no particular order, these things happened Saturday. 1. We saw an electronic sign warning us that there is a drought and we should conserve water. We know there’s a drought, the river that runs by us has more sandbars than not now, and everyone else on our block has given up on watering. Our…

  • The Shower Scam Lives On

    On Friday I went to happy hour. It was like having lunch, only with alcohol, which means the conversation was even more coarse. So of course it was a menstruation conversation. I thought I might shock young Miss “I Don’t Know What a Brassiere Is” by telling her stories of menstruation back in the day.…

  • Hoarding

    I only wish they were magazines I could be proud of.

  • R.I.P., Chad Everett

    Early 70’s: Chad Everett catches my pre-teen eye in the 70’s medical drama Medical Center, which ran from when I was 7 to when I was 14. That’s an awful photo of Chad. Very dated TV Guide, though. Complete GOP Convention coverage! Blacks in Broadcasting! Here’s my Chad: 80’s: I forget about Chad. I marry.…

  • B Team

    Julie is my Twitter friend. About six months ago I was invited to Julie’s birthday party, entirely because all of Julie’s “real” friends went to Belize without her. So, Julie was forced to call in the B-Team: five or so tangential friends. I was delighted to be there and meet Elaine, her partner, of whom…

  • Utopia

    A few months ago, one of Gary’s aunts was diagnosed at the Mayo Clinic with a peculiar ailment: small-cell lung cancer. Evidently this form of cancer mimics neurological ailments: deafness, muscle weakness, trembling, and so on. Gary’s aunt went through numerous doctors for years before she went to the Mayo Clinic. They gave her months…

  • Batman 24/7

    Thursday night, Gary said, “I think the only movie I would ever leave the house to see would be the new Batman movie on an IMAX screen.” Friday morning at 5 the dog woke me up. He didn’t want to pee, eat, or play, and in these situations I assume there’s been a tsunami, earthquake,…