Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: February 2012

  • The Rule of Threes

    Some time this afternoon, the normal department silence was broken by repeated wails of: “Oh no!” “I KNOW!” “I loooved him!” “Who died?” “Davy Jones.” “Who is Davy -“ “AHH AHH! Look at her! She doesn’t even know who Davy Jones is! So young! You’re a child! DAVY JONES. The MONKEES.” Then old women would…

  • Goodie

    Heads up, fans of morbid tv. I have a new favorite show: Curious and Unusual Deaths. Every episode: three real-life deaths. Curiously! For example, in the one episode I saw: Man dies in a few inches of water because he went outside in the cold to feed his cat. (I would do this.) Man dies…

  • Gary’s word choice (“laden”) improves when he has a migraine

    A GUEST POST FROM GARY RECEIVED VIA EMAIL By the way, I just read your blog and my grandparents on my Dad’s side slept 4 hours, woke up, had a prepared meal that they ate together around the table and then went back to sleep for another 4 hours. It freaked me out the summer…

  • Oscars 2012

    I remember the transition from: “And the winner is …” to “the Oscar goes to …” I am old school. And the winner for best activity while watching the Oscars is: baking cookies and reading Twitter. I’ve been asked to bake two types of cookies, chocolate chip and “something the dog could eat.” And the…

  • Scraps

    All that happened this week has been dwarfed by the happy news below from Thursday. I only have dregs here. 1. The other morning I joined the drive-through line at Starbucks and found I was behind an identical Mini-Cooper. Red with white top, same year, same trim. I kept wondering if I should honk so…

  • Nice notes from call with drug company

    I was so happy to hear the $679, and then she said “and then zero dollars a month after that.” These results are not typical. Or perhaps they are. I don’t know. I don’t care. Evidently there are all kinds of plans and funds available. So! I was excited enough to use three exclamation points.…

  • Gary: Dance Mom

    So soooo sick of Dance Moms. Gary is not. He’ll watch the same episode two nights in a row. When the show focuses on the girls, he always says one of two things, either, “Look at how those girls just ignore their Moms fighting” or “It’s amazing how they can learn those routines so fast.”…

  • Rights

    While I tend to lean hard to liberal, I always try to judge how far I can lean before I capsize. The current political debate is all about a woman’s right to birth control, and if Catholic employers should have to pay to insure birth control. Some events in my life influence my opinion (which…

  • A Recipe for Excellent Cheese Eggs

    Gary has been rhapsodic about the new stove. “This is the best [chicken / pot roast / cake / fried rice] you’ve ever made.” Yeah, I got cocky. Cheese souffle. (Wait, you don’t care. Because I just said I made fried rice. I did, and it was almost restaurant quality. The secret is to risk…

  • In Which I Have Money Worries

    I am going to disappoint you. I know why you’re here. Escapism. I am the 21st century screwball comedy, the inept and ridiculous well-to-do. As I say, I am about to disappoint. You know how I’ve been getting that great deal on my MS medication? My MS medication which costs – and again I must…