Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Month: January 2006

  • My Stubborn Valentine

    It is Valentine’s Day soon, and that means Gary has to find a Valentine’s Day gift for his Mom. Not for you, his wife? you ask. No. Twenty years ago, the first or second Valentines Day were were together, we were shopping at the candy store and Gary picked up a heart-shaped box of milk…

  • The Big House

    Gary has a recurring dream. It is the “Big House” dream, and I thought I might track it. He’s been having it in some form all through our twenty-year marriage. I’ll think I have it figured out, and then he’ll come up with “The Big House – version 2001” which blows all my theories. There…

  • Survival of the Biggest

    My husband has purchased a set of very sturdy pet stairs for the dogs to use when they clamber up into bed. I feebly protested that dogs shouldn’t sleep in bed with humans, but I think I lost that battle many years ago. The S_________ family treats their pets like their biological superiors. (Just to…

  • Behind the Music: The Incestuous Pandas

    My nascent band, The Incestuous Pandas (and high props to Libby, who added the all-important “The”), is coming along very slowly. My band-mate Gary has not been cooperating. Friction in the band already. First, he doesn’t like the name. “The Incestuous Pandas?” he asked scornfully, as if it were not the best band name ever.…

  • Brokeback Mountain

    So, Marcia and I went tonight to see Brokeback Mountain. (Hot man-on-man action.) Afterward, I decided to go home and get a kiss from my husband. I had stopped by his car since his work is on the way to the theater and write “Sex God” and “I (heart) Gary” in the window dirt. So…